“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.”
Lately, I am living in my head a lot. I am worrying about the future and forgetting that I can choose my reactions to change. My husband’s seventeen-year-old daughter, Andrea, will soon join our family. I am excited to include her in our family, but I am also nervous. Our family is now four people— my daughter, Miranda, who is nine; my son, Julian, who is sixteen; my husband; and myself. We will become a family of five. It’s a change in my life that I am adjusting to. I have some fears and doubts about this change. I worry what will happen if Andrea does not click or connect with me or other family members. I know it’s normal to have fears and doubts about the unknown, but I also know about the power of choice. I can choose to have negative expectations or positive ones; to fight this change in my life or embrace it; to struggle against the current or let events flow; to let my fears consume me or to acknowledge my fears and confront them. We all have this immense power of choice, but few use it or understand how it works. Here are three tips on how you can choose your reactions to change.
I have the choice to stay positive.
Let me be clear. You have the power to decide how change affects you. Right now, I have the power to decide that I am not going to get ahead of myself and let negative, fearful emotions take away my peace. I am going to stay focused on expecting a beautiful relationship with my new daughter. Positivity is where we discover true magic, and it’s my choice to embrace it. Stay positive about your life changes. Yes, change is hard, but it also teaches us something about ourselves.
I can choose to be unafraid.
Acknowledging my fears reminds me that I am human. It’s okay to worry and wonder. I can be afraid, yet I can reduce my fear with thoughts of love. My worst-case scenario of Andrea not liking her new family disappears when I give my fear a name. In this case, my fear is that Andrea will not connect with me or someone else in her new family. Once I have identified the fear that is bothering me, I can shift it. I remind myself that we are a pretty amazing family, and that she will love us. Call your fears out. Name and understand them. Your fears are not intended to hold you back, but to be noticed and conquered.
I can choose to be happy.
I also have the choice to be happy. I have the choice to focus on the present moment—the right now. But if I do feel the need to project myself into the future, then I will seek only happy thoughts. You also have the power to be happy. It is your right to find joy in your present moment. Let the future take care of itself. You do not need to postpone happiness until the future. The future is not guaranteed. Only this moment matters, so choose happy now!
Many will go through life experiencing themselves as victims of every new circumstance that shows up. Let me remind you that you have a choice about how you react to everything that happens. You have a choice to let optimism lead you forward or to let pessimism hold you back. Embrace positivity in everything that comes your way. Choose to acknowledge fear, but don’t let fear hold you back. Invite happiness into your present moment. Choose to live in the now, and let joy be your companion. Until next time, Believe. Change. Become.
Sending many blessings and love your way!