“Disappointment is just the action of your brain readjusting itself
to reality after discovering things are not the way you thought they were.”
I have been thinking about how much I have learned and grown from disappointment this year. I have been blessed to have accomplished many of my goals this year, but have also experienced many setbacks. The disappointing events that transpired this year taught me so much about myself and others. About myself, I learned that I am determined, courageous, and an eternal optimist. About others, I learned that sometimes their best intentions are not enough if their heart is not aligned with their deeds. I have learned that the only person that I can truly count on to make all of my dreams come true is myself. Disappointment has been my greatest teacher because I have decided to apply and learn all the lessons it has brought me. Feeling disappointed in the short-term can be advantageous if you learn the lesson and move on. On the other hand, wallowing in disappointment can keep you feeling stuck and lead to self- doubt, despair, and even depression. The sense of despair is more prevalent when you can’t seem to get a break from disappointment, and you experience a series of devastating events in a short period of time. I have been there. I have felt that “I am just not good enough,” and that is why disappointing events are happening to me. It is very easy to get stuck in the cycle of self-doubt. Yet, this digs you even deeper into a hole. Today, I want to talk about how disappointment can be your greatest teacher and how to treat it like you would treat love and joy, welcoming it into your life with open arms. Here are three tips on how to deal with disappointment.
When disappointment appears, pay attention to why it’s there.
As I analyze my disappointments, I understand that I experienced disappointment to teach me something about myself or others. I have learned to be gentle with myself and forgiving of others. I forgive myself and trust that there will be something positive that will result from every disappointing situation. When you encounter disappointment, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this person or this experience?” Forgive others for bringing disappointments into your life, and then adjust your sails. It’s okay to forgive others, learn from them, and then send them into the sunset. Also ask, “How can I approach things differently in the future?” As you self-reflect, you can learn so much about yourself and others.
Do your expectations set you up for disappointment?
I have very high expectations for the people that want to be part of my personal life or business. I have a very small circle of friends that I trust and that rarely disappoint, but my major disappointments have come from relationships connected to my personal development business. I have learned to be more cognizant about the people that I bring to work with me, because if I bring everybody in I will forever be disappointed. Think about the expectations you have for the people in your business or life. Are they realistic expectations? The expectations you may have of others are reflection of who you are. But it may not be necessarily who they are. For example, if you are a person who honors what you say, you will have a tough time with people who don’t follow through. This expectation is something you have of yourself, but it does not mean others will have this expectation. Pay attention and believe them when they show you who they are. Don’t expect to change them. Change is only possible for those who seek it. Accept them or let them go; it’s your call.
Transform your perspective about disappointments.
Sometimes disappointment is not what you expect it to be. Sometimes disappointment brings better things to your life. Take time to feel the disappointment and surrender it. Believe me when I say that better things are coming for you. When I stumble into disappointments, I realize that another, greater opportunity is waiting around the corner. The disappointment I may be feeling becomes a blessing in my life. Embrace your disappointments and treat them like you would treat love or joy—with open arms. Remember, disappointment is bearing the gift of growth.
Disappointment sucks the joy out of life, in order for true joy can come into your life, treat disappointment as something that you called and can handle in your life. Stop desiring that your life be a certain way and accept everything that comes into our life as something you planned for. The best cure for disappointment is to learn from it, accept it, and embrace it the same way you embrace joy and love. Until next time, Believe. Change. Become.
Sending many blessings and love your way!
P.S. My book, Believe. Change. Become.: Remembering Who You Were Destined to Be, has been published. Check it out! https://www.balboapress.com/Bookstore/BookDetail.aspx?Book=749140.