Monday, November 7, 2016

How Self-Doubt Can Crush Dreams

"Self-Doubt is the anchor that keeps or ships from sailing."

“I don’t know if I could continue.” My new client told me as we drank coffee and talked about her past business failure. She had joined a health food networking marketing business that had a great deal of potential.  “I did not know there would be so much disappointment in pursuing your dreams. I have lost confidence that I could possibly be successful.” She said. “Failures are not the end of a dream; they are lessons you have to learn. They are kinks that you need to fix before you grow. Think about that business failure. What is something that you learned from it? What could you do differently?” I asked.  “Well, I guess I could over invite people to my presentation, so that I have a better result.” “Yes, and remember that you are just starting, it will take some time to get momentum but you will get there. For now, it’s a perfect opportunity to practice your presentation with the few people that show up.” I told her. “I had not thought about it that way. You are right this is a perfect opportunity for me to get better at my presentations. Thank you!” She said.

Who has not felt disappointed with a new career venture, following a dream or a life goal? I personally know what is like to fail my way to the top! I have been disappointed many times, but I can pick myself up very quickly. Here are four tips that will help you manage self-doubt.

“Rome wasn’t built in a day.”
As entrepreneurs, we assume that success happens overnight. Why not? We are so passionate about our service or product, so should everybody else, right? The truth is that success requires time. Give yourself time to grow. We make the mistake to believe that within a couple of months we will become successful. There is no set number of the time to reach your peak, but studies show that it could take 3-5 years, sometimes even longer. Be patient learn from your mistakes that are preparing you for that peak of the mountain.

Remember a time when you were successful.
I know it’s hard to stay positive when you have failed, but you must remember when you were successful. Know that you are capable of winning because you have won before. Write down your WINS. Ask family and friends to remind you of the times when you got the goal. We are so critical of ourselves, we focus so much on our failures that we forget about our past triumphs.

Love yourself.
 “Love Yourself,” says Louise Hay. In the past I, did not understand that this phrase is the answer to many of our problems. When we love, ourselves we treat ourselves with dignity and respect. Think about someone that you love. Your child, husband or wife? Would you mentally abuse them? Well, maybe one will abuse a husband or wife, but we shouldn’t. Be kind to yourself and others. You are more capable and worthy than you give yourself credit for.

Fail, fail and fail some more.
Remember when you fail you are on the right track. Failure is part of growth. Embrace it, learn from it and move on. As I continue to fail I am proud of my tiger stripes. They teach me things about my strength that I did not know I had. Dare to fail, dare to learn so that you may grow.

As I fail forward, I realized that in life you must experience disappointment so that you can not only learn from it, but also appreciate your successes more. It’s a win-win because it teaches you so much about yourself about, about your strength. Expect disappointment on your journey to your becoming. Expect success as well. Love yourself, and know that you are worthy of treating yourself with dignity and respect. As you do, you set the mood for others to do the same and it gives you stamina to continue to move forward even when all hope is gone. Keep your chin up beautiful and persevere! There will be a day when you will look back at your stumbles and failures and be glad you never gave up! Until next time, Believe. Change. Become.


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