Monday, August 8, 2016

How to Ignore and Delete Toxic People to Persevere!

"When you delete the unnecessary
people from your life, 
good things start to happening for you
and it won't be a coincidence."

“I don’t think my sister or best friend think I have what it takes to be an interior designer.” She told me. “Why do you say that?" I asked. “Well, every time I share about my new venture in interior design my best friend says, “You can’t quit your job, just like that to pursue this silly dream!” “Who the heck pays people to decorate their homes, anyway!” My sister reminds me. “What do you think?” “Do you think they are right?” I asked my client. “Sometimes, I believe they are right, but other times I just ignore them.” She said.

Can you relate to having that friend(s) or family member(s) who criticize everything you do? These people have a negative life view and will never support anything new in your life. It’s that brother or even mother that thinks your business ideas will never work!  It’s the friend that feels you are focusing too much of your time on your “ridiculous” dream. As a life coach, I deal with people’s inner critique and the outside critiques as well. I too, have had to deal with this in these “nay Sayers” in the past. But I decided to ignore, focus and persevere! It has not been easy but I am proud to say that when I stumble onto doubters I simply laugh it out. I remind myself that the anchors in my life are just that, ANCHORS! They may try to hold your ship because they think you may leave them behind (and you may have to!) Their opinions have nothing to do with you and everything to do with who they are. Let’s address these people that want to hold you from your life goals and dreams! Here are some suggestions for freeing yourself from people who shadow your light!

Know who stays and goes.
There are some relationships that you simply cannot walk away from. When it comes to family sorry to tell you but these are relationships that you could not simply walk away from (but if you can, go for it!). Even though, it is important to understand that you can indeed limit your interactions with people in your family that don’t empower your life goals or dreams. You don’t have to tell them what is going on in your life. It’s OK to keep your dreams away from people that belittle your life goals. It is said that your friends become family, but some friends are very easy to walk away from. When it comes to friends who don’t contribute to your personal growth, who don’t support or believe in you, it is OK to show them the door. As I told my client, we never pick our family, but fortunately we have a say on who are friends are and if the stay or go!

Prepare to lose toxic friends and limit your time with negative family members.
Be grateful for the time that they were in your life, but let them go! I know that I had to reevaluate who were the people that contributed positively in my life. As, far as friends went I eliminated those that were takers and took away from my light. Some will eliminate themselves, because you may put the light on them. You may make them uncomfortable.  Family is a bit harder because it is hard to avoid them. My solution to toxic family members was to not share very much about my life goals or dreams. If they asked about my successes I would share very little. So, they stopped asking.

Understand it’s not you it’s them.
When someone doubts your goals or dreams. It’s never about you and always about them. When I tried to explain this to my client she was dumbfounded. She did not understand that the doubters don’t doubt you they doubt that they could ever accomplish any dream or goal. Have you noticed that people who are living lives of passion and purpose always believe in you? Have you also notice that toxic, negative people are simply existing and never accomplish any major dream or goal? Yes, you need to take constructive criticism, but if in that criticism you don’t hear, “I know you can do better next time. You can do this. Don’t give up!” Then ignore and delete and move on!

Don’t listen to those Negative Nancy’s! But do listen to this POSITIVE one (ME!). It is imperative that you let go of the people and things in your life that are your anchors. Just as it’s important to keep and search for those lifeboats that pull your ship! Know that you are powerful and that anything and everything is possible for you. Understand that you are capable of overcoming any obstacle or setback. Find those cheerleaders that truly believe in your genius and let go of those who question your strength. Until next time, BELIEVE in yourself. CHANGE the toxic people in your life for positive ones, to BECOME your most amazing self! Let me know if I could be one of your biggest cheerleaders by connecting with me at See you next Monday!



  1. [ Smiles ] Ridding ourselves of toxic people is part of life.

    Fabulous blog post!

  2. very impressive and knowledgeable article