Monday, August 1, 2016

How to Befriend Fear

"Too Many of us are not living our dreams 
because we are living our fears"
-Les Brown

I have realized that many people are paralyzed by fear. We are fearful of the "unknown" of the “what if.” It has been my observation in my life coaching practice that many people get stuck in lives that were created by others, or the “status quo” because of fear. Many of us have conformed because we get comfortable. I have a wonderful friend who is wasting her true potential because she dreads going into unknown territory.  She has shared and tried to convince me that she is content with her life.  I can’t help but see that she is trying to avoid fear, therefore she is living in a life that is not of her creation. She is in a job that pays the bills but does not make her come alive. The truth is that only the courageous ones fulfill their destiny! Pursuing your true calling requires you to conquer your fears, be uncomfortable and fall seven times but get up eight!  I understand firsthand what it is like to, “do it afraid!”

When following my dream of being a personal development coach and leaving my career as an educator, I was very fearful. I lacked courage because I was walking away from a very comfortable place into the unknown. There was no real certainty, no real guarantees. I feared failure.  I feared the humiliation I would face if I did not succeed. This was a constant worry that would take me away from my present and transport me to a future that may never be. This type of negative thinking did nothing but bring stress in my life. I had to decide let go of the security of my job for the uncertainty of what was to come and that gave me courage. I also realized that worst case scenario thinking really does not prepare you for anything! It just paralyzes you, stops you from pursuing your dreams and living the wonderful life you deserve. Today I want to talk about your fears and how you must not worry about those fears until you have to worry about them.

Make fear your friend.
How do you make fear your friend? When fear comes into your life say “hello,” to it. Introduce your goals and dreams to fear and acknowledge why you may be fearful of pursuing them. Once you have done that, pursue with your life goals despite your fears!  Also, be ok with uncertainty. For example, I worried about falling in my coaching business. Understandably so, research has shown that only 8 out of 10 businesses fail within the first 18 months. But why should I focus on something that has not happened?  Why not deal with it when and if it gets here? Do these fears contribute to something positive in my life or take away my joy?  It took away from my joy! People who live in constant fear, would argue that fear can prepare you for worst case scenarios, to this I say why are we going there yet?  Why not worry about it when you truly have to worry about. What if those horrible things that could happen never happen? Imagine all that time wasted on nonsense when you could have lived in joy!

Kill fear with positive thoughts.
You kill fear with positive thought. You let go of the negative “what if’s,” and focus on the best case scenarios. “What if you succeed?” It’s that feeling of everything will be alright, the sense that you are supported that you should always be seeking and trusting. A positive mind is a positive life. Imagine your life in glory and it shall become that. Imaging your life in chaos and that it will be. You are that powerful! You are what you believe and your positive or negative thoughts is where it starts. Have the courage to practice faith. Know that you are supported by something greater than yourself. Know that when you are in your purpose the universe conspires help you live an authentic life!

Gratitude is the key.
Let’s imagine that your worst case scenario did come to life. Well it’s time to worry about it! But you don’t worry about it by focusing on how awful things are. You focus on your blessings, you focus on the fact that you are still standing, if it left you not standing, focus that you are ALIVE! Once you do that know your strength.  Know that you have been there before, and you have overcome. Yes, you are that amazing.  Remember last time, the pain you went through? Did it kill you? No, because here you are. Still strong, moving along in this journey called life. Know your worth, know that you are powerful and you will overcome every obstacle that is presented!

So, will you choose courage instead of fear? Have the courage to kill fear by getting comfortable with fear, staying positive and practicing gratitude. Know that you have a pretty good track record of getting through difficult times. If you still need some extra support conquering your fears don’t hesitate to contact me at so that we may conquer them together!  Until next Monday, Believe. Change. Become!
Live fearlessly!



  1. Powerful...and RIGHT ON TIME! Further proof to me at this time, that I am not alone in my current of the things I feared actually did happen..but after getting over my initial reaction,I know that "My higher power has closed a door to push me through the one I'm destined to enter. .but would not have because I was afraid of change. .abs the unknown....praising Him for doing what I couldn't and wouldn't!

    1. Jeana, wonderful to hear that this post came to you at the right time! Yes! Doors will close on us, but better ones will always open. Keep up the faith and never let fear take you away from your destiny!