Monday, August 29, 2016

Take Responsibility for Your Life!


“If you could kick the person in the pants
responsible for most of your trouble,
you wouldn’t sit for a month.”
-Theodore Roosevelt

It felt like deja vu, meeting with my friend who we shall call “Mary” to discuss the infidelity of her husband for the third time.

“I can’t believe he did it again! He promised he would change that he would not cheat on me again and I believed him. I feel so stupid!” She told me as tears rolled down her cheeks. “He has ruined my life!  I have wasted ten years of my life for nothing!”

“Well nothing is ever wasted if you learned the lesson.” I told her. “But you have to take responsibility for your life, for your choices. He did not ruin your life; you did this to yourself!” Yes, I was being brutally honest, but I felt that I could not sugar coat it anymore! In the past I had taken the role of a therapist, I just listened and let her her figure it out, but last week my patience was exhausted! “You may not be able to control everything that happens to you, but you had the choice to leave him the first or the second time he cheated on you. You are responsible for the people you bring into your life and the people you keep! Stop blaming him and take responsibility for your life! You have given him the power to treat you this way, because you have showed him how to treat you. Take your power by holding yourself accountable for your life! He has not ruined your life because you can still change it, make it the life you want! Remember, you are the creator the maker of your life! I told her.

She stopped crying, looked intensely into my eyes and said, “You are right, it’s time that I get my power back!”

When you realize that you are the creator of your life. There will be a great sense of freedom. No more blaming games, no more excuses. Own it! If you are not happy with your life you have the power to change it! Stop with the victim mentality! Stop the complaining and do something about it! Yes, I understand that we avoid change because it’s comfortable, but is it really? Is it comfortable to accept people and events in your life that take away from your joy? Is it comfortable to settle and give excuses as to why you are not living the life of your dreams? Stop blaming your children your circumstances and “NIKE IT!” or “Just do it!” Here are four tips on how to take responsibility for your life.

Sail Your Own Ship
If you truly want to be happy you have to sail your own ship. You are in this world to create a masterpiece with your life. You are the creator of your life. No matter your circumstance or where you were born. You have the power to change it. To change it you have to BELIEVE that you are worthy of a better existence. BELIEVE that everything that comes into your life you have attracted some way, somehow. Stay positive, be grateful so that you only get this energy back from the universe. Look at every negative life event as a lesson that needs to be learned. Learn the lesson and move on!

Stop making excuses
When you hold accountable for the bad things that come into your life you will better learn the lesson so that you don’t have to repeat it. If you continue to make excuses for why things don’t work out for you, you will continue to get the same. Stop making excuses and seek to change the things that don’t bring joy into your life. Remember you always have the power to create yourself a better life!

Develop an I can and I will attitude.
Yes, you can! Yes, you will! When you have this type of attitude nothing and no one can stop you. If you have identified what makes you come alive and want to pursue it. DO IT! Fulfill your destiny, by living your best life. Know that you are the only one that can set your limits. Be limitless!

Release when you have done everything in your power.
You have taken responsibility of your life. You have worked hard for your desires and nothing has changed. What now? There is power in releasing your dreams and major life goals to the universe to God. Again, be grateful appreciate what you have in your life and let it go. Be patient and believe that your grand desires are trying to find you. Let God know that you understand that your life is a gift and will make the best of it!

Life is about choices and ultimately the choices that you make are your responsibilities. When you take ownership of your life by holding yourself accountable you will discover true happiness. Eliminate what is damaging your life’s creation and embrace what is helping you create a beautiful existence. Don’t blame others for your current circumstances terminate them from your life. Understand that your life is truly a gift to you and to the world. Make it amazing! Until next Monday, Believe. Change. Become!


NancyJ

Monday, August 22, 2016

How To Get The Life That You Desire


“My greatest challenge has been to change the mindset of people.
Mindset play strange tricks on us.
We see things the way our minds have instructed our eyes to see.
-Mahammad Yunus

A year and half ago I was city girl, but know I am a country girl with a few acres, four chickens and a turtle. You can say I am taking it very slow in the animal department, due to the fact that animals require a lot of time and commitment, and that my husband has not quit his day job. Having a ranch was not my dream. It was my husband’s dream. His life goal is to be an almond farmer with a few more chickens, goats, cows and a horse. He supported me following my dream of Personal Development Coaching/Inspirational Speaking, therefore I felt that living in a farm was the least I could do for him. Yet, there are days I want to scream because my home is always work in progress. Anybody that has lived in reconstruction understands how challenging this can be. Yesterday, as I looked at the corn field next to our place I thought about how everything my husband had created in his mind was coming to fruition. I can remember when we first got married that we lived in a very small home with a tiny backyard. I loved it because it was our first home. Back then this was all we could afford.  So when looking back at our lives I see that we have been true creators of our desires. Everything that we have wished for at one time or another has happened. So why would I every doubt future success? Well, we always doubt our potential our capability because we lack patience. We see impossibilities in the future and we have these beliefs that good things happen to other people. So we get what we believe. These amazing things that you desire start in your mind, they then turn into things that you say and then become physical realities.

How about you?  Do you like what you see in your life? Have you been a successful creator of your life? If so, congratulations you have done well for yourself. You have attracted all those wonderful things to your life.  If not, you have only one person to blame yourself! You have created it. Here are four tips to create the life or your dreams.

Examine your current beliefs.
What do you believe you deserve for your life? Do you have limiting beliefs? When I looked back at my limiting beliefs, I had a tough time believing that I could be a business owner. I thought that business owners had no heart that all they cared about was the bottom line, which was to make money. I rejected this idea because one does not get into education for the money, I thought I got into it for the love of teaching. Then I discovered that indeed I enjoyed it, but I would not do it for free. Sadly, I don’t think I know anybody that could afford to do it for free. We all have bills and a mortgage to pay so education also has a bottom line. Today, I understand what was holding me back and what to do to release myself from this limiting belief. What are your beliefs about success?

Focus on positive information.
I would suggest looking at motivational videos or reading inspirational books about success. I am an auditory person so I also like to listen to powerful talks about personal development when I drive to meetings or appointments. Focusing on positive people in your life is part of staying positive. I know I have said this before but, “we are the company that we keep.” Is your circle pushing you to your best life or keeping you away from it? Evaluate these friendships and eliminate, eliminate, eliminate.

Focus on manifesting what you desire.
What your desire? You have to focus on it and act like you already have it. How do you do that you ask? By showing gratitude for what you have and staying positive. Also believe that what you are wanting is on its way. The truth is that what you want is already yours you just have to match your energy with that of the universe. It’s like a puzzle piece that is looking for the right fit, so are your desires.

Train your subconscious mind to believe.
The subconscious mind is the mind that you need to train so that your desires could flourish. This was very difficult for me because I used to be very practical and reasonable. This was what my subconscious mind was used to. I came in like a wrecking ball, destroying everything that I believed was real to my life. I then demanded my subconscious mind to be open to endless possibilities that it had never experience. Train it to believe that what you truly desire will be a sure thing, but do remember to give it time.

In essence it is very important to be cognizant of your thoughts and train your subconscious. Your thoughts and beliefs are the secret to your success. To get the life you want, it takes awareness and responsibility of those thoughts. Change those negative vibrations so that your life can change from an OK to WOW! Don't forget you are worthy of everything you desire! Until next Monday watch your thoughts and don’t forget to Believe. Change. Become!
NancyJ


PS. I will be offering a webinar on how to Make Your Mindset a Believe Mindset. Email me at Nancy@believechangebecome.net if you would like for information about this course.

Monday, August 15, 2016

Believe With All Your Heart That This Too Shall Pass


"The pain and struggle you are going 
through is part of your life story."

-Nancy Salmeron

We were going to celebrate his first birthday August 16. He would have been one human year. King was given to my daughter as a gift. He was a white Pekingese/Poodle. I like dogs, but I never thought I would actually love a dog like I loved this one. King was a fun filled, lots of energy fur ball. Since I get to work from home most of the time, we developed an unbreakable bond. He was my shadow. My daughter would get a bit jealous when she saw how excited he got to see me. His tail would wag uncontrollably, he would jump with excitement and got on his back so that I would touch his belly. Sadly, our beloved dog King was hit by a car and died instantly. This was the first time that a living soul that I had interacted with every day for the past year would no longer be with us in human form. This was not the first time that a loved one had passed on. I had grandparents, and extended family members leave this planet. I felt the pain, I was in shock with their loss, but since I had developed a day to day bond with King, his departure brought me to my knees (literally). As for my daughter it shattered her little heart. I missed him following me from room to room. I missed him laying with me when I took a nap. There is a great difference in the yearning of loved ones that you interact with every day, compared to the ones that you rarely see. King, has reminded or prepared me to be ready to understand that the time with your loved ones is precious and you need to value it. I started to wonder what would happen if I lost my husband, who is my best friend, someone that I have lived with day to day for more than a decade. I could not or did not want to imagine what it would be like if I lost one of my kids. I don’t know how I could sustain such pain, but I do know that everything we experience in this world is fleeting. I understand the process of loss. I understand that there are many phases. I also understand that with time things get better. Pain does not go away, but it lessens it becomes more bearable.

Today I want to talk about how pain, defeat and life struggles just as joy and happiness are not everlasting. I also want to give you hope if you are grieving the loss of a loved one or any other type of loss. I want you to remember that your present situation has no effect on your amazing future and that this too shall pass. Here are three things to consider when you are going through some difficult times.

Embrace it.
Many times, and understandably so we want to ignore or reject pain. Yes, there are many phases of pain and you only know what phase you are in. Yet, you have to understand that death or loss is part of living, it's part of your life story. I always feel that death puts things into perspective for me. Death, reminds me to value life, to treasure my loved ones and to stay present. Believe that you are strong enough to embrace pain and disappointment.

Give it time.
Time, time, time lessens the wound. I understand the power of time, but need to learn to be patient with time. Whenever I am going through some difficult time, professionally, emotionally or economically I always know that within time things will improve and guess what they always do! Be fair to yourself and situation by practicing patience and understanding that time takes care of everything.

Know this too shall pass.
One of my favorite mantras is the “this too shall pass” and this also applies to joy and happiness. Nothing is constant, nothing is forever. Pain needs to be showcased in your life so that you can better value happiness and joy. Also, pain gives you strength and becomes part of your amazing life story. The death of King in my life reminded me once more of being present and grateful for the little things in my life. It got me focused on love. Yes, pain and suffering will disappear and will reappear once more. Meanwhile, what are you doing with the moments that are pain free? Are you living them up or giving them up?

When you are going through dark difficult times don’t forget that the sun will bring light and beautiful times soon enough. Be patient, know that this too shall pass and remember to find joy and gratitude in ordinary days. It is these ordinary days that we will miss someday. Until next Monday, Believe. Change. Become!

Nancy:)


Remember I am here for you! Connect with me at Nancy@believechangebecome.net if you have any questions on how I can support your through challenging times.

Monday, August 8, 2016

How To Balance It ALL To Not Lose It ALL




"Never get so busy making a living 
that you forget to make a life."
-Unknown

I have been enjoying my summer with my two children Miranda who is 8 years old and Julian who is 15.  They are true blessings in my life.  They have been very patient with me and my work this summer.  In the past, we were all off for the summer, but since I am a business owner now and no longer a teacher, I don’t get to have the whole summer off.  Every morning my daughter asks me if I have a meeting.  For the most part I try to schedule morning appointment, so we can still go to a park to have lunch or go swimming, unfortunately it can’t happen every day!  We have gotten away to the beach as a family for a couple of days, but my little girl has confessed that she would love to get away for a longer time.  Last week, I asked Miranda if she would like me to go back to being a teacher and she said, “Mommy I only want you to be happy, and I see that you are. So no!” What she does not know is that I am very happy but feel a bit guilty for the extra hours that I have to dedicate to my business, which takes time away from being with her brother and her.  Yes, they are my, “reason,” my “why.” For pursuing my passion of Personal Development Coaching.  I want to inspire them to never settle, to pursue what they are passionate about and to live the life or their dreams.  I also want them to understand that when you commit yourself to pursuing your purpose, there are things that you must give up, but your life should also have balance.  Today, let’s talk about how you can balance your dream job or career with family life. It is not easy, but it’s necessary! Here are three tips for balancing it all so that you don’t lose it all.

Let go of guilt
Memo to me, and all of you who are feeling guilty for the time you dedicate to a career or a calling that you love.  Rather than dwelling how you are not with your children value and fully be present when you spend time with them.  Remember it’s not about the amount of time you spend with your children it’s about the quality time.  I have scheduled, “mommy and daughter dates,” with my little one.  My son no longer seeks one on one time with me, but I do make it a habit to check in with him throughout the day.  It’s important for me that he knows that I am available to him when he needs me and that he understands how much he is loved.

Focus on your priorities
What are your priorities?  Where can you save sometime so that you can be spend some more quality time with your children, husband or loved ones?  Remember that your priorities should be family, not Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or TV.  How can you better invest this time with your family when you are not pursuing your life goals or dreams?  This has been a true challenge for me, but I am working every day to get better with this! It’s imperative that you are not distracted from things that don’t contribute to your life goals, and dedicate quality time to the people in your life that are your biggest supporters!

Make time to take care of yourself
How about setting some time for yourself?   It’s very important that you set sometime for yourself.  You can’t be an effective parent or spouse if you are, “cranky,” or “unhappy.”  You are the role model for your children and when they see that you care and love yourself they will also apply this to their lives.  So don’t forget to love yourself, because when you do your love will flow more freely.

Set boundaries and have a family calendar
Being organized is essential to your business and your family time.  In my home there is a routine on the event’s that we are part of.  I have also learned to set boundaries on what I do on my weekends.  It’s not always possible, but I try my very best to be around my kid’s and husband on the weekend.  Again, when I can’t do this I make sure that we are electronically connected. 

In conclusion, I am very grateful for the amazing husband and exceptional children that I have.  They have taught me so much about being present and enjoying the here and now.  I know I am loved, because they have never obstructed my dreams.  They show me unconditional love every day, by being my biggest cheerleaders.  In return I hope to make them proud and inspire them to live a life full of passion and acquired dreams.  What are you doing to show your loved ones to live authentically?  Are you living a life of passion and joy?  How do you balance it all?  Connect with me at Nancy@believechangebecome.net if you would like me to assist you with your transformational journey!  Know that you are here to identify what makes you come alive and to live a life of purpose. Until next time, Believe. Change. Become!


NancyJ

How to Ignore and Delete Toxic People to Persevere!



"When you delete the unnecessary
people from your life, 
good things start to happening for you
and it won't be a coincidence."

www.marcandangel.com

“I don’t think my sister or best friend think I have what it takes to be an interior designer.” She told me. “Why do you say that?" I asked. “Well, every time I share about my new venture in interior design my best friend says, “You can’t quit your job, just like that to pursue this silly dream!” “Who the heck pays people to decorate their homes, anyway!” My sister reminds me. “What do you think?” “Do you think they are right?” I asked my client. “Sometimes, I believe they are right, but other times I just ignore them.” She said.

Can you relate to having that friend(s) or family member(s) who criticize everything you do? These people have a negative life view and will never support anything new in your life. It’s that brother or even mother that thinks your business ideas will never work!  It’s the friend that feels you are focusing too much of your time on your “ridiculous” dream. As a life coach, I deal with people’s inner critique and the outside critiques as well. I too, have had to deal with this in these “nay Sayers” in the past. But I decided to ignore, focus and persevere! It has not been easy but I am proud to say that when I stumble onto doubters I simply laugh it out. I remind myself that the anchors in my life are just that, ANCHORS! They may try to hold your ship because they think you may leave them behind (and you may have to!) Their opinions have nothing to do with you and everything to do with who they are. Let’s address these people that want to hold you from your life goals and dreams! Here are some suggestions for freeing yourself from people who shadow your light!

Know who stays and goes.
There are some relationships that you simply cannot walk away from. When it comes to family sorry to tell you but these are relationships that you could not simply walk away from (but if you can, go for it!). Even though, it is important to understand that you can indeed limit your interactions with people in your family that don’t empower your life goals or dreams. You don’t have to tell them what is going on in your life. It’s OK to keep your dreams away from people that belittle your life goals. It is said that your friends become family, but some friends are very easy to walk away from. When it comes to friends who don’t contribute to your personal growth, who don’t support or believe in you, it is OK to show them the door. As I told my client, we never pick our family, but fortunately we have a say on who are friends are and if the stay or go!

Prepare to lose toxic friends and limit your time with negative family members.
Be grateful for the time that they were in your life, but let them go! I know that I had to reevaluate who were the people that contributed positively in my life. As, far as friends went I eliminated those that were takers and took away from my light. Some will eliminate themselves, because you may put the light on them. You may make them uncomfortable.  Family is a bit harder because it is hard to avoid them. My solution to toxic family members was to not share very much about my life goals or dreams. If they asked about my successes I would share very little. So, they stopped asking.

Understand it’s not you it’s them.
When someone doubts your goals or dreams. It’s never about you and always about them. When I tried to explain this to my client she was dumbfounded. She did not understand that the doubters don’t doubt you they doubt that they could ever accomplish any dream or goal. Have you noticed that people who are living lives of passion and purpose always believe in you? Have you also notice that toxic, negative people are simply existing and never accomplish any major dream or goal? Yes, you need to take constructive criticism, but if in that criticism you don’t hear, “I know you can do better next time. You can do this. Don’t give up!” Then ignore and delete and move on!

Don’t listen to those Negative Nancy’s! But do listen to this POSITIVE one (ME!). It is imperative that you let go of the people and things in your life that are your anchors. Just as it’s important to keep and search for those lifeboats that pull your ship! Know that you are powerful and that anything and everything is possible for you. Understand that you are capable of overcoming any obstacle or setback. Find those cheerleaders that truly believe in your genius and let go of those who question your strength. Until next time, BELIEVE in yourself. CHANGE the toxic people in your life for positive ones, to BECOME your most amazing self! Let me know if I could be one of your biggest cheerleaders by connecting with me at www.BelieveChangeBecome.com. See you next Monday!

NancyJ

Monday, August 1, 2016

How to Befriend Fear



"Too Many of us are not living our dreams 
because we are living our fears"
-Les Brown

I have realized that many people are paralyzed by fear. We are fearful of the "unknown" of the “what if.” It has been my observation in my life coaching practice that many people get stuck in lives that were created by others, or the “status quo” because of fear. Many of us have conformed because we get comfortable. I have a wonderful friend who is wasting her true potential because she dreads going into unknown territory.  She has shared and tried to convince me that she is content with her life.  I can’t help but see that she is trying to avoid fear, therefore she is living in a life that is not of her creation. She is in a job that pays the bills but does not make her come alive. The truth is that only the courageous ones fulfill their destiny! Pursuing your true calling requires you to conquer your fears, be uncomfortable and fall seven times but get up eight!  I understand firsthand what it is like to, “do it afraid!”

When following my dream of being a personal development coach and leaving my career as an educator, I was very fearful. I lacked courage because I was walking away from a very comfortable place into the unknown. There was no real certainty, no real guarantees. I feared failure.  I feared the humiliation I would face if I did not succeed. This was a constant worry that would take me away from my present and transport me to a future that may never be. This type of negative thinking did nothing but bring stress in my life. I had to decide let go of the security of my job for the uncertainty of what was to come and that gave me courage. I also realized that worst case scenario thinking really does not prepare you for anything! It just paralyzes you, stops you from pursuing your dreams and living the wonderful life you deserve. Today I want to talk about your fears and how you must not worry about those fears until you have to worry about them.

Make fear your friend.
How do you make fear your friend? When fear comes into your life say “hello,” to it. Introduce your goals and dreams to fear and acknowledge why you may be fearful of pursuing them. Once you have done that, pursue with your life goals despite your fears!  Also, be ok with uncertainty. For example, I worried about falling in my coaching business. Understandably so, research has shown that only 8 out of 10 businesses fail within the first 18 months. But why should I focus on something that has not happened?  Why not deal with it when and if it gets here? Do these fears contribute to something positive in my life or take away my joy?  It took away from my joy! People who live in constant fear, would argue that fear can prepare you for worst case scenarios, to this I say why are we going there yet?  Why not worry about it when you truly have to worry about. What if those horrible things that could happen never happen? Imagine all that time wasted on nonsense when you could have lived in joy!

Kill fear with positive thoughts.
You kill fear with positive thought. You let go of the negative “what if’s,” and focus on the best case scenarios. “What if you succeed?” It’s that feeling of everything will be alright, the sense that you are supported that you should always be seeking and trusting. A positive mind is a positive life. Imagine your life in glory and it shall become that. Imaging your life in chaos and that it will be. You are that powerful! You are what you believe and your positive or negative thoughts is where it starts. Have the courage to practice faith. Know that you are supported by something greater than yourself. Know that when you are in your purpose the universe conspires help you live an authentic life!

Gratitude is the key.
Let’s imagine that your worst case scenario did come to life. Well it’s time to worry about it! But you don’t worry about it by focusing on how awful things are. You focus on your blessings, you focus on the fact that you are still standing, if it left you not standing, focus that you are ALIVE! Once you do that know your strength.  Know that you have been there before, and you have overcome. Yes, you are that amazing.  Remember last time, the pain you went through? Did it kill you? No, because here you are. Still strong, moving along in this journey called life. Know your worth, know that you are powerful and you will overcome every obstacle that is presented!

So, will you choose courage instead of fear? Have the courage to kill fear by getting comfortable with fear, staying positive and practicing gratitude. Know that you have a pretty good track record of getting through difficult times. If you still need some extra support conquering your fears don’t hesitate to contact me at Nancy@believechangebecome.net so that we may conquer them together!  Until next Monday, Believe. Change. Become!
Live fearlessly!

NancyJ