Monday, July 18, 2016

How to Stop Self-Sabotaging Behaviors Before They Kill Your Dreams



"Self sabotage is when we say we want something 
and then go about making sure it does not happen."
-Alyce P. Cornyn-selby

I am becoming my worst enemy!  I am in the process of writing my book.  My goal is to have it done by December.  But at the rate I am going, I may never finish it!  It’s not writers block, it’s self-sabotage!  Apparently, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter are my partners in crime!  You see, the scheduled time that I have to write my book is very quickly interrupted by these memes!  “Oh let me just peak at Facebook to see what my friends had for lunch.” My inner critique tells me.  "What's happening on Instagram?" And forty-five minutes later I am posting comments!  Yes, I know that these time consuming tasks are taking away from my dream of becoming a published author.  I coach individuals on goal setting, time management and how being consistent with a set routine can bring success to any goal or dream you are desiring.  Yet, I am having an issue staying focused and keeping true to my own routine.  I feel that I’m procrastinating, because I am fearing success.  I am fearing the unknown.  My inner critique, tells me that I don’t need to be a published author.  That I will only be disappointed with the results.  That nobody will buy my book, that I am just wasting my time!  I have acknowledged my fears now it’s time to move forward and kill my fearful inner critique!  Can you relate to this?  Have you ever felt that you know what you need to do to accomplish a goal but you can’t seem to do it?  How many times have you acted against your self-interest?  Today, let’s talk about three things you and I, can do so that we stop self-sabotaging ourselves.

Look within.
In my case I had to seriously look within to see what my fears were.  I admit, that I am fearful of the unknown.  I am fearful of success!  Yet, what I fear the most is wondering, “What if?”  Currently, this has been one of my driving mantras, when I am questioning doing something new or conquering a fear.  At the end of my life I want to say, “I am glad I did that!” and not, “I wish I would have done that.” Why are you self-sabotaging your dreams?  What are your fears?  Face them and ignore that inner critique!  If you truly examine your motives for this self-destructive behavior, you can better conquer these fears.

Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Monitor your negative thinking.  Your inner critique may have some truth in what it is saying.  Yes, you have failed in the past.  You have made some silly mistakes, yet you have learned from them.  Let go of the past and forgive yourself.  Remember you can always try again and that is OK.  Focus on positive events that have made you feel successful.  Know that you are capable of bringing success to your life and stop that self-sabotaging behavior!  Whatever you BELIEVE you shall bring to yourself.  So BELIEVE the voice that tells you YOU GOT THIS, and YOU DESERVE THIS! 

Get out of your comfort zone.
If I want to become a published author, I must get out of my comfort zone!  It’s going to require me to truly dedicate many hours to this worthy endeavor, I will have to give up some Facebook, Instagram and Twitter but I know it will all be worth it!  What comforts do you need to give up to accomplish your goals and dreams?  Do you have to get up a little bit more early to work out, so that you can get the body of your dreams?  Do you have to give up some TV to focus more on your business? Whatever you are giving up can’t be better than accomplished dreams!  Somethings got to give!

Self-sabotaging behavior starts with negative self-talk.  Before you can conquer this self-sabotaging behavior you first have to acknowledge it.  Listen to your inner critique, but don’t believe everything it tells you!  Remember your strength and step out of your comfort zone!  It will not be easy to get out into unknown territories, but it’s more fun than known ones.  Last, but not least learn to forgive past mistakes or what I like to call lessons.  These lessons were given to you for a reason.  They have made you wiser and stronger and be grateful for that!  Until next time, Believe. Change. Become!

Nancy:)

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