Monday, March 21, 2016

To Forgive Is To Rediscover Peace and Joy!


“Holding a grudge doesn’t make you strong; it makes you bitter.
  Forgiving doesn’t make you weak; it set’s you free.”
Davewills.org

How many of you have been hurt from an old love, family members or friends?  I believe is part of our human experience to deal with pain and rejection.  I also believe it’s part of the human experience to learn and grow from pain and disappointment, but very few decide to do so.  This week I had to deal with the power of forgiveness.  I had to finally forgive loved ones for not loving me the way I thought I should be loved.  I had to forgive colleagues and friends for not treating me with kindness and respect when I was seeking support.   It was an eye opening experience for me to realize that I still held some kind of resentment for people who had done me wrong.  I realized that I have a lot of healing to do in regards to letting go of the past and not wishing it was any different.  My epiphany was that by me wishing that someone would have loved or treated me better in the past, I was still stuck in the past.  I finally see that it is o.k. to accept what happened, what hurt me and move on.  I was also reminded that bad and good experiences make us who we are. The key is to learn not only from positive experiences, but also from the negative ones.  Today let’s surrender to letting go of the past so that you can become the best YOU!

Why should you forgive?
I thought that when I forgave that colleague that put my job as an educator in jeopardy, I was saying that what he did was o.k.  I thought that if I forgave my friend for betraying me, I had to continue with that friendship.  In both of these cases, I was not only willing to make peace with the past, but thought that forgiveness meant that you should continue to have people that have hurt you in your life. The truth is all the people that come into your life have lessons to teach you.  Some of the lessons are painful, but in the end you should learn from them.  You should forgive those that have hurt you, not because they need your forgiveness, but because you need the peace. Remember Nelson Mandela once said that, “Resentment is like drinking poison and the hoping it will kill your enemies.”

How do you forgive?
When you forgive you are accepting the reality of that someone in fact did hurt you. You have decided that no matter how difficult, and painful that lesson was, you are willing to learn the lesson.  Also, when you are willing to forgive you are not wishing that anything would have been different.  What has helped me with forgiveness, is to see people who have brought pain and suffering to my life only projecting how they feel.  My favorite expression is that, “only people who are in pain hurt, only people with empty hearts hurt.”  It has been my personal experience that when I dwell too much on the past and wish things could have been different, I continue to stay in the past.  Remember, the ultimate goal is to learn from your pain and disappointment and move on!  When you let go of resentment you remind the other person that you honor yourself.  You also show him/her that your strength lies in your forgiveness.  Gandhi once said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is attribute of the strong.”  I desire for you to be STRONG!

In conclusion to forgive is for the strong and wise!  When you forgive is not for the person that hurt you, but for your personal peace.  Love yourself enough to know that you don’t have to continue to have people that hurt you in your life.  Don’t wish for anything to be different so that you don’t have to stay in the past.  Let go of your past and move into your better future!  Until next time, BELIEVE. CHANGE. BECOME!


NancyJ

Monday, March 14, 2016

Make Friends With Fear




"The Fears We Don't Face Become Our Limits."
Robin Sharma

I was blessed to have attended a Celebrating Women & Wealth workshop in Santa Barbara, California this weekend! I learned a lot about my beliefs about money and how to not put all my financial eggs into one basket. I also rediscovered the power of belief and how belief can dictate your financial status. It was a very powerful workshop that reminded me that, “Life is and adventure and we need to let PASSION be our guide.” I loved everything about this workshop, but truly appreciated the times we had to work with a group. I learn a lot about myself when we get an opportunity to collaborate with others. In this particular case, I learned a great deal about fear and self-worth.

In one of the many fun activities we had to do in this workshop, we had to get together with a group of wonderful women to make up a song that had some of the concepts we had learned. My group was a group of five exceptional women. Three of us were natural born leaders. Two of the women did not have these aspirations. The challenge was that one of our fearless leaders wanted to direct the whole show, without involving any of the other members. The other fearless leader and I, were not going to go down quietly. We quickly stepped in and took charge by giving our opinion and suggesting that we should all be given an opportunity to give input to the song. One of the members of the group who did not share a passion for being a leader, was becoming very uncomfortable with the situation. She had made up her mind that she was not going to participate, but I could not have that!  It is my belief that we can all contribute with our special gifts and talents to any situation. One of the other awesome leaders and I encouraged her to participate and we discovered that this gave her confidence to become the actual leader of the group! In the end she was the true leader. She was more musically inclined than all of the members of the group, myself included. So guess what happened?  She flourished in the group! She was calling all the shots and in essence she became the true leader.  

So what did I learn from this? I learned that we all have something to contribute to any group and that leaders are made by giving support to others. Also, when I asked our new found leader if she was happy to have participated, she said she was glad she did. In today’s blog I want to talk about the importance, of doing things that stir fear in you, or “doing it afraid!” I also want you to remember that YOU always have something to contribute to any group, situation or the world.

Why do it AFRAID?
You need to take risks and ignore the fear! When I conquer my fears I rediscover my strength. By doing this my dreams become less restricted.  Also, when I act in despite of fear, I always come out it feeling powerful, wiser and more confident. I hope my new friend who shall remain nameless, remembers this activity and remembers that she has something to offer and that she too is a leader! Something else I also learned is that leaders only lead when they bring out the best in others.

You have something special to contribute.
You have something special to contribute to every situation, event or life. In your life you will encounter natural born leaders that may make you feel that you have nothing to contribute, but remember we all have something special that needs to be shared. Don’t ever feel intimidated by someone that you may think is smarter than you. We all need each other and you have something special that you need to share with the world. You have knowledge and self-experiences that differ from others that can be a contribution to any group!

As I already mentioned I had a wonderful weekend, made wonderful friends and learned a lot managing money and about my leadership style. Please don’t forget to face your fears, because every time you act in spite of your fears you will grow stronger. Every time you overcome a fear, you are closer to your true BECOMING. Also, don’t forget that you have something special to offer to a group, situation and the world. Until next time, Believe. Change. Become!

Monday, March 7, 2016

How to Stay Consistent with Being Consistent


 
"We are what we repeatedly do.
 Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."
-Aristotle
As I thought about today’s post I realized that I am a creature of habit. My morning routine starts with drinking a cold glass of water and taking my vitamins. I then get my daughter ready for school, put her on the bus and then drop off my son. Next, I drive to the gym where I do some cardio, get back home to meditate for twenty minutes and have my oatmeal and black coffee this is all before 9:00 a.m. This is how I start my day, before I actually start my day. I then attend to my scheduled appointments.  It changes if I have to go out of town, but for the most part I am pretty constant with my routine, and I like it this way! I am person that strives to commit to consistency. I am also a person that holds her commitments to a high standard. If I say I am going to do something, I do it. If I say I am going to be somewhere, I’m there! This is what I believe has made me meet my goals and accomplish some of my dreams. What about you? How do you feel about consistency? If you are seeking to improve or change any aspect of your life you need to implement consistency. But consistency can be a difficult task to start or even keep. Here are five tips to staying consistent so that you can accomplish your dreams and goals!  
Think about your why?
Consistency is essential in short and long term goals. Think about that goal or dream you are seeking. For example, a goal of losing weight. Why is this important to you? Is it for health reasons? If your reasons will truly impact or change your life, then you will do it!  If you don’t have a big enough, “why” you will fail to stay consistent. My, “why,” for wanting to be healthier is to live longer for my family and to have more time to live out my purpose, of helping others find their passion. Your why should push you to be consistent with those little things that will make a big difference in the end.
Focus on one thing at a time.
In order to be consistent and successful you have to stay focused. When you have too many goals that you are working on you will not get any done. Prioritize what is your most important or essential goal that you need to accomplish first, in order to move to your next goal. I have experienced that when I have too many things that I need to focus on, I don’t even know where to start. What I suggest for you is to focus on one thing at a time. Once that is accomplish feel free to move to your next goal.
Schedule a time for your goal.
When I started blogging, I decided that I would commit myself to my blog every Monday morning. This time for me is sacred for me. I don’t schedule appointments on Monday morning that would take away from my commitment. It has become part of my weekly routine. I feel accomplished when I finish my post every Monday morning, I am committed to my blog one hundred percent! You need to put it in your calendar and stick with it! If you do it long enough it will become part of your routine, it will become like sleeping or eating.
Watch out for those negative feelings.
I have to ignore those negative voices that tell me. Why are you wasting your time blogging? Nobody reads your blog anyway!  I have to silence that voice that tells me that I am wasting my sleep going to the gym to work out, that I should go back to sleep. These voices want to sabotage your dreams and goals. Ignore them!
Get back on the wagon.
Yes, I have fallen of the wagon a couple of times. I have gone back to sleep instead of going to the gym in the morning, but will find a time to work out in the evening. I did not post, on a Holiday, but will repost something I have blogged about. We all will fall of the wagon, but that is ok, you don’t have to be perfect. Just get back on and continue to stay consistent with your goal!
To be consistent is to be on the path to your goals and dreams. It may not be easy, but once you make it part of your routine, it’s hard to be inconsistent. Remember it’s the little things that you do today that will make a great difference in your life tomorrow. Give your goals and dreams the time and dedication required so they may come alive. Know that you may get off track because of other distractions, but also know that you can always get back on track! In my commitment to being consistent to myself and my readers, I want to thank you for being a consistent reader of my blog. You, push me to keep on blogging! See you next Monday! Don’t forget to BELIEVE. CHANGE. BECOME!
Nancy:)