Monday, January 25, 2016

The Cost of Risk Taking

"The biggest risk is not taking any risk." 
Mark Zuckerberg
Is there someone in your social group that apparently has the perfect life? You know what I am talking about, they have the perfect hair, clothes and children. They are the ones that had 4.0 grade average in High School, they knew what college they would be attending in the 9th grade, they graduate with honors. They never seem to stumble or struggle. I was never one of them, but I used to have such an admiration for these people!  I used to wish that I would be just like them. They would make me question my existence. They would make me focus on my flaws. Why couldn’t I be like them? Why couldn’t I have it all figured out at 18 years old!  What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I conform and settle to the perfect life? I couldn’t because something greater than myself pushed me out of my comfort zone.  So, for some time now I have gave myself permission to take risks. To not settle, to risk losing it all to become it all. It was not easy, it took restless nights, waking up in tears at two in the morning wondering why I was so ungrateful with my comfortable life, but it was worth it. Let’s talk about risk taking and why it’s essential in your becoming. It may be painful, but I promise it will be worth it!

Why we conform?
It is the need for security that keeps us from risk taking it keeps us in a job or life that we don't love. It is within our human nature to want to stay with the familiar. We like consistency in our lives, and to a point we need that for security. The problem is that it’s an illusion, “security,” does not really exist. Let’s look at the market crash in 2008. Many people were left without a jobs. Security is not guaranteed because of a job. Another reason I have conformed has been because it was comfortable for me. I knew where my next pay check was coming from, and it was ok, until I realized that I was not growing simply existing. I was doing the same thing every time, it was not challenging me to grow. Conforming into a life that no longer serves you, chips away at your soul. Let go of conformity by getting out of your comfort zone. Nothing is guaranteed so why not take a chance on yourself?
What do you need to be a risk taker?
The perfect people in my circle continue to live a life without mistakes. To be a risk taker you need to be willing to make mistakes. To pursue the life you were intended, to go after your passion, you should be prepared to be judged, to be thought of as, “insane.” You will be criticized and told to get a regular job! Please ignore them! Good risk taking is a courageous act it’s really not intended for everyone. It’s intended for unique people like you! When you take these risks your personal growth and integrity is enhanced.  Yes, just like a child learning to walk, you will stumble and fall, but imagine if the child did not even try! When you take risks you walk with a true sense of purpose. You let the world know that you are doing it your way, and no one will tell you how to live your life!

Take action.
To get the life you want you have to risk the life you have. Are you willing? If the answer is yes then you must take action. Stop procrastinating! Procrastination delays your days of glory. Sometimes I regret not doing what I am doing sooner. Remember we are not in this planet very long! For me it’s the next 40 years that I will be living on my terms, and that is not very long! The action you take will help you with self-confidence. I know that sometimes it may be overwhelming to take the full plunge, but if you can’t risk it all, risk a little bit. Get your feet wet! It’s those baby steps you take today, that will make you run to your dreams within time.
Will you risk it all to become it all? I certainly hope so. Live fearlessly and don’t apologize for it! Don’t doubt your essence, trust that little voice that reminds you that you were destined for more. To live a life that is full of joy and abundance may require to risk it all to have it all! Until next time, Believe you are courageous enough to take risks, Change the idea that you can’t, to Become who you were destined to be!


Monday, January 18, 2016

How to Stop Sabotaging Your Prosperity!

Once our minds are "tattooed," with negative thinking,
our chances for long- term success diminish.
-John Maxwell
Wonderful things are happening in my life. My family and business is prospering, every day I come closer to my true becoming. Yet, I have been dealing with negative chatter these last couple of days. I have been doubting my existence, my life’s purpose. I have been questioning my self-worth. Questions such as, “Well, who do you think you are to be so great!” “You are not smart enough.” “You can’t do that!” I have been bullied by my own mind. This made me think about why we sabotage our happiness. Why we can’t seem to accept that things can be wonderful and that you are worthy of those wonderful things. Today, I want to talk about that negative chatter that may come to haunt you in some of the best moments of your life and what to do about it.
Why do you feel you are not worthy?
It is my belief that these negative voices bully our mind because we believe we are not worthy of wonderful things. You may think that wonderful things happen to other people, but never to you. You think it’s too good to be true. Also, we are afraid of rejection. When you start rejecting yourself you think you are preparing for it when it comes.  Why do we do this? We do this to protect ourselves. Sound silly right? As I reflect on this I realize that I am preparing for something that may never even happen. Why not let go of something you can’t control? You need to be ok with difficult times coming, but don’t worry about them until you have to truly worry about them.
There is only one you and you are perfect!
When we compare ourselves to others we truly damage our self-esteem. When I have these negative thoughts, I go into comparison mode. I look at some of the people that inspire me and tell myself that I could never be like them.  The truth is that when we compare ourselves to others we limit our own potential. When I do this, I quickly have to remind myself that there could never be another Nancy Salmeron! Understand that you are unique you are perfect the way you are. What you have to offer to those around you is enough, and they are blessed to have you. That negative chatter will silence when you accept that you are authentic and just perfect!

Kill the negative thoughts with kindness.
We are involved in constant mental chatter. We talk to ourselves all day long and sometimes what we say to ourselves are things we would not say to our worst enemies. These conversations you have with yourself reinforces in your mind who that negative voice thinks you are. You need to be aware of this, because this voice only tells lies! Become your own best friend. Don’t be a bystander! When you hear these negative thoughts kill them with kindness. If you hear, “Well who do you think you are to be so great?” Respond, “My name is______ and I am GREAT thank you very much!” When you hear, "You can't do that!" respond, "Just watch me!" Then proceed with your greatness.
To unleash your true potential you have to stop all that negative chatter. Know that you are PERFECT the way you are because you were born. Remember there is only one you and we need you! Don’t forget how amazing you are, so please stop sabotaging yourself. Until next Monday, Believe you are unique, Change, those negative thoughts for positive ones, to Become your authentic self.


Monday, January 11, 2016

What If You Could Not Fail?

"Courage is simply the willingness to be afraid and act anyway."
-Dr. Robert Anthony
A few days I met with new client who is looking to change careers, I asked him these questions. What if you woke up one morning and all your fears were gone? What would that feel like? What would your life be like? What if you were guaranteed success? What if you could not fail?  He had a tough time answering the questions and I completely identified with him because I have also been there, wanting to change careers but having fear stop me.
When following my dream of being a personal development coach and leaving my career as an educator I was very fearful.  I was fearful, because I was walking into the unknown. There was no real certainty, no real guarantees. I feared failure, I feared the humiliation I would face if I did not succeed. This was a constant worry that would take me away from my present and transport me to a future that may never be. This type of negative thinking did nothing for me, but cause stress in my life. I had to decide let go of the security of my job for the uncertainty of what was to come, and that taught me courage. I also realized that worst case scenario thinking really does not prepare you for anything! It just paralyzes you, stops you from going after your dream and living the wonderful life you deserve. Today I want to talk about your fears and how you must not worry about those fears until you have to worry about them.

Get comfortable with fear.
How do you get comfortable with fear? When fear comes into your life say hello to it. It is important to knowledge why you may be fearful. Also, be ok with uncertainty.  For example, I worried about falling in my coaching business. Understandably so, there was fear in the uncertainty. But why should I focus on something that has not happen? Why not deal with it when and if it gets here? Does it contribute to something positive in my life to worry? No, quiet on the contrary it took away from the joy. People who life in constant fear, would argue that fear can prepare you for worst case scenarios, to this I say why are we going there yet? Why not worry about it when you truly have to worry about. What if those horrible things that, “could,” happen to you never happened? Imagine all that time wasted on nonsense when you could have lived in joy!
Kill fear with positive thoughts.
You kill fear with positive thought. You let go of the negative, “what if’s,” and focus on the best case scenarios. It’s that feeling of everything will be alright, the sense that you are supported that you should always be seeking. A positive mind is a positive life. Imagine your life in glory and it shall became that. Imaging your life in chaos and that it will be. You are that powerful. You are what you believe and your positive or negative thoughts is where it starts. Have the courage to practice faith. Know that you are supported by something greater than yourself.
Gratitude is the key. 
Let’s imagine that your worst case scenario did come to life. Well it’s time to worry about it! But you don’t worry about it by focusing on how awful things are. You focus on your blessings, you focus on the fact that you are still standing, if it left you not standing, focus that you are ALIVE! Once you do that know your strength. Know that you have been there before, and you have overcome. Yes, you are that amazing. Remember last time, the pain you went through? Did it kill you? No, because here you are. Still strong, moving along in this journey called life. Know your worth, know that you are powerful and you will overcome every obstacle that is presented!
So, will you chose courage instead of fear? Have the courage to kill fear by getting comfortable with fear, staying positive and practicing gratitude. Know that you have a pretty good track record of getting through difficult times. Until next Monday, Believe. Change. Become.
Live fearlessly!


Monday, January 4, 2016

Make Peace With Your Past and Move On!

"Your journey will be much lighter and easier
 if you don't carry your past with you."
Happy New Year friends! I hope you all had time to reflect on lesson learned in 2015, and are focusing on the goals and dreams you want to acquire this 2016. In reflecting on what I hope to accomplish this year, I realized that I had to let go of the past in order to move on to a better me for 2016.
We all have a past and for this we need to be grateful. Our past has mold us to the person we are today. But how much should we hold on and how much should we let go? As I reflect on my past I realized that I have made many mistakes, but also learned from them. My biggest mistake, is letting fear kill my hopes and dreams. Sometimes our past can hold us back from our true potential, from wonderful things. The failures from the past can inhibit us from growing because we believe that things will never change, that the past will repeat it self. But this is not so! What I want to share with you today is that your past has engraved lessons that should be learned, but your past does not dictate your future. It’s a new start, a new year, a clean slate, let’s accomplish all the goals and dreams that were not accomplished in 2015 without fear!
When moving on to your better future, you  have to recognize that it’s time to let go. Have you accepted this? Are you ready to move into your true becoming? If you are, here are four things to consider.

Let go of past anger and resentment.
This is not easy. Yet you have let go of past anger and resentment because if you don’t it will only damage you and nobody else. Living of past anger and resentment is not only detrimental to your health but to your hopes and dreams. It’s an ugly feeling when you are stuck on what other people did or did not do for you. I used to blame my mother for my lack of connection and affection toward others. Her lack of connection with me when I was a child made me feel disconnected to others. I used to wish that she had been more affectionate, but then I realized that she did the best that she could. She actually did better than her mother did with her! Not until I let go off all this was I able to move on with my dreams of connecting with people in a positive way. If I had stayed with this past anger and resentment I would have never been doing what I am doing now.

Let go of guilt.
To let go of guilt is to understand that you are not perfect and forgive yourself for that. Guilt is a sign that the lesson was not learned. Learn the lesson and move on. You did the best you could with what you knew at the time, so let it go! Guilt does nothing for you, but stop you from growing, and the only reason you are here is to learn and grow.
 Learn to forgive.
It’s all about forgiveness, forgiveness, forgiveness! When you forgive it’s not only for the other person’s freedom from guilt, but most importantly for yourself. When you learn to forgive you are loving yourself. As I forgive those that may have hurt me, I am loving myself. I am not stuck on what someone did. I move past that and realize that only people who are hurting hurt. It takes courage to forgive!

Don’t feed past fears.
We all have failed in the past, but this does not mean it will always be that way! Again learn from your failures and move on. Your fears should not stop you, they should propel you to get back on the horse. The past is not a predictor of all the wonderful things your future has for you. Laugh in the sight of fear and let it know you are doing it afraid!
You’re New Year and your new life are waiting for you! Learn from your past but move toward your future with a sense that things can and will change. You are the only one that can break those chains! Go for it! You have nothing to fear and only wonderful things to gain. Until next Monday!


Believe. Change. Become,

Nancy SalmeronJ