Monday, October 5, 2015

What Is Your Fearful Nagging Voice Telling You?

"To feel confident you need to kill the devil in your head.
Think about this negative self talk;
 the volume, the voice tone and whose voice it is."
Christopher Delaney
A few days ago, I was taking my fifteen year old son and seven year old daughter to dinner. On our drive there my daughter said that she wished she was a good artist like her friend. She mentioned that she was never going to be that good and started a pity party on herself. I mentioned to her that there was a “stupid voice in everyone’s head that we should never listen to it!”  My daughter is a very sweet gentle soul who thinks the word, “hate,” is a, “bad word!”  Which her brother has teased her about many times before. Her eyes widen with shock because I used the word, “stupid.” My son, saw this and realized that this was an opportunity of a lifetime for him (remember he is fifteen!). He then proceeded to whisper in my ear that we needed to use a stronger word to describe, “the stupid voice.” I started to laugh and asked, “What word?” “The F word he said.” Let’s make her say, “f*** the stupid voice in my head!”  I could not stop laughing at how quickly he wanted to help his sister with this. I told my daughter that it was ok for her to say, “stupid,” only this time and reminded my son to watch his words! She could not believe it. She started to yell, “I will not pay attention to the stupid voice in my head!” “I will not pay attention to the stupid voice in my head.” “I will not pay attention to the stupid voice in my head.” We laughed all the way to the restaurant, and continued to talk about how those negative thoughts are lies based on fear that we must never listen to. We concluded that it was ok, to label that negative voice, “stupid,” because it really does not tell the truth of who you are or what you are capable of doing.
What about your, “stupid voice?” What lies is it telling you? Where will you be one year from now? Five years from now? How you answer these questions is dependent on what voice is taking lead in your mind. Will it be the “fearful, nagging voice,” or the, “positive, optimistic voice.” Which one is occupying your head these days? Look around you, which one has occupied your head this decade? Today we will examine this negative voice and its use or lack off use, I should say! We will also look at ways to take its power away so that you may have a promising future!

Why we have negative thoughts?
According to wikiHow, we are all programmed to scan our environment, searching for problems to fix, and that requires spending a significant amount of mental energy considering what-if or worst case scenarios. So, there is a reason for “stupid voice.” Yet, I believe these thoughts are fear based and they become a problem when we believe they are true.  Calm Clinic Anxiety, informs us that the negative thoughts may be a result of anxiety, but that it is also very normal to have negative thoughts and not suffer from an anxiety disorder. We have all heard the voice in our head that says, “You are not, smart enough to do that!” “You will never amount to much!” or my personal favorite, “Who do you think you are?” I believe that, negative thoughts are part of the human experience.  I believe that we all experience with these negative thoughts because it challenges our true voice to come out. The one you should be listening to. Last Monday’s blog I told you that there is an inner voice that you must listen to, that is the voice that is being challenged to come out every time you have a negative thought. This, “positive, optimistic voice,” is the voice you should be paying attention to. It knows more than your, “fearful, nagging voice.”

 How do I get rid of these negative thoughts?
When you find yourself hearing negative thoughts, be ready to call your, “positive, optimistic voice,” to the rescue! How do you do that you ask? Well let me tell you!  Start by asking yourself, “Is this thought true.” For example if you want to move up in your profession, and you hear, “You are not smart enough to do that job!” You know who is talking right? Acknowledge, and thank your, “nagging fearful thought,” for being concern. Assure it that you understand it’s coming out of fear and remind it that you have all that it takes to do this job! If these suggestions don’t work and you still have those, “nagging, fearful thoughts,” next thing to do is to challenge them. If this voice is telling you, “You are not smart enough for that job!” respond by saying, “Watch me!” and be on your way! Other tips for getting rid of those negative thoughts include to write them down and burn them. Also, when these thoughts come up, quickly focus on the positive outcomes, and don’t get consumed with, “what if’s.” Know that you are resilient enough to deal with any negative outcome when they happen and not before!

In conclusion, it is imperative that you understand that the, “nagging, fearful voice,” is fear based and that you don’t have to believe it. It’s ok to notice that voice and say, “Hey what’s up?” and send it on its way. Then turn to the, “positive, optimistic voice,” and say, “What were you saying?” I bet you this voice makes you feel more like home.  Think about it for a second, doesn’t that voice make you feel better? That voice is not fear based but love based, listen to it and follow it. I hope today you were able to identify your true voice. The one that is going to make five years from now more exceptional! It all starts with those voices inside your head and it’s up to you to choose the right one!

Until next Monday, Believe.Change.Become!


  1. Beautiful and thoughts change our destiny

  2. Thank you for taking the time to comment Prasad. Have an exceptional day!