Monday, August 31, 2015

Change Can Result in Strenght and Progress

 
 
"Change is INEVITABLE. Progress is OPTINAL." 
Tony Robins

Is there something in your life that is not working? Is it your job? A relationship you are in? Something in yourself?  If you are asking yourself these questions you may be seeking change. In today’s blog I will share how you can change your life if you really want to. How you can improve it by incorporating daily habits to master change, and finally how change can lead to progress if progress is your ultimate goal!

Let’s start with your WHY? Why do you want to make this change? If you are looking to lose weight or end a relationship. Why is this change necessary? One of my life changes this year was to follow my passion of becoming a Life Coach/ Inspirational Speaker. This was a major change, I started my own business from the bottom. Scary right? Yet, my why, made it clear that this change was a necessary to the fulfillment of my spirit. I enjoyed and treasured dearly my years in public education, but felt that I had to change my classroom. I was not happy with the focus of public education, it did not fulfill my mission. My husband and children saw my unhappiness going to work. So my why became about being happy so that I could be a better parent and wife. My why has pushed me through my doubts and fears. 

Next step in getting the life you want is to change your belief system. That belief that anything is possible. Our beliefs control everything we do. Weather you believe you can or can’t you are correct. It’s up to you to decide what is going to be. In my case I believe that this career change has put me on my purpose. I believe that this is what I was born to do. I believe that I can be successful at it. What do you believe? Do you believe that you can lose the weight or get out of stagnant relationship in your work or with a partner? Do you believe that you were destined for something better?
 
 
Now that you believe it, you can see it!  You must cultivate the overwhelming motivation to succeed. Know that it will take work, but know that it will happen. One trick to not going back is to focus on the pain you will feel with what you know you don’t want for your life. You must motivate yourself to the belief that you are on the right track and that there is no going back. Visualize yourself where you want to be. It’s all there it’s just a matter of time.
 
 
If you change your mental patterns you can change your life. Let go of those mental patterns that tell you that you can’t. Start with small habits that will take you to your goal. It’s those little changes that we do that will result in the grand change. Remember its mini steps, taking it slow enjoying the journey more than the destination that will contribute to those positive life changes.
 

I was trying to avoid the question of time and change, because of the conflicting research information on this topic. I believe that to change any bad habit you have to give it time. The time devoted to any major change you are seeking should be about six weeks to develop into a positive daily habit. Yet, I believe it is dependent on the individual.  Work for that goal every day and stick with it!
 
 

In conclusion, change is inevitable, it’s part of life. Life is always pushing us to change for the growth of our spirit. Today, I hope I have gave you the courage to take that first step into change. I personally know how difficult and challenging this may be, but I also know it is necessary for the ultimate life you were born to live! Until next time, Believe. Change. Become.

Monday, August 24, 2015

Be Tough and Rough Like a Diamond

Never Doubt The Resilience of Your Spirit!
 

A few days ago I was scrolling through my Facebook page and saw a post that read:
If you are reading this, you have survived your entire life up until this point. You have survived traumas, heartbreak, devastation, the different phases of life.
And you are here. You are awesome.

This made me think of the resilience in our spirit.

I have a friend at this moment who dealing with heartbreak, devastation, chaos, and uncertainty because of her divorce. She is an inspiration to me because she is a perfect example of how powerful and resilient our spirit is when we decide to be unstoppable! Today I want to dedicate this post to her by reminding her she is going through this pain and suffering because she is strong enough to handle it!

With today’s post I wish to show you how strong and resilient you are if you choose to be so. I will answer the questions of why some people bounce back from adversity and misfortune while others fall apart.
 

What makes us resilient?
I agree that some people are born with more resilience than others yet I also agree that it’s possible for you to cultivate more of it. One way to do this is how we think about adversity. How we handle negative situations. Are we a, “glass full or glass empty,” kind of person. Do we see solutions to our problems or just the problems? Resilient people bounce back from any difficult life experience!
 
Why some people lack resilience?
According to Psychology Today, some people lack resilience because of a post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), general anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder, and substance abuse or dependence. Psychological issue that with help and support can be treated. Yet, the vast majority of those who lack resilience suffer from this because of lack of social support from friends or family.  They may also lack control of their lives.

How do we become more resilient?
It’s all about POSITIVITY, practicing gratitude, having a sense of humor and learning the lesson.
Resilient people are those who can experience negative and positive emotions. They don’t numb their pain with drugs or alcohol, they embrace whatever they may feel. After they experience these emotions, resilient people tend to focus on the positive don’t dwell on the negative they are no victims!
 
 

Gratitude is very important to the resilient spirit. They count their blessings and make sure they lend a hand to others. This act of kindness is not only beneficial for resilience, but can lead to serotonin to your brain!
Having a sense of humor is essential to resilient people because it’s what gets them through the pain and suffering. How does humor help? Laughing reduces tension to moderate levels.  According to Al Siebert in the Survivor Personality, “The person who toys with the situation creates an inner feeling of, “This is my playing; I am bigger than it…I won’t let it scare me.”

 

Last but not least resilience is about learning the lesson. The more you leverage life’s difficulties as opportunities to grow and evolve, the more resilient you are likely to be. Pain comes to all of us, yet the resilient feel that there is a lesson to be learned. They adjust their sails when the wind has blown in a different direction. These people get the lesson and move on, they don’t dwell on the past. They simply live and learn.
I believe it’s in our nature to be resilient. We are all able to adapt to difficult or challenging life experiences. There is only one game in town. The game of life is to understand that we are like diamonds. We may start as charcoal but through all the pain and suffering we may endure we become diamonds! That is the game, how well we adapt and handle all of lives pressures! With today’s blog, I hope to have inspired to BELIEVE that you are resilient enough to handle all the chaos, pain and suffering that may come to your life. CHANGE your views about the power of your spirit to BECOME the diamond you are! See you next Monday, and don’t forget to Believe, Change, Become!

 

 

 
 


 

Monday, August 17, 2015

What is True Happiness?


 

Can Money Buy True Happiness? 

 
I have mentioned on one or more occasions that I was moving. In my move to my new home, I discovered how rich I was in material possessions. As I sorted my trash, donate, and keep piles, I could not help but ask myself these questions. Did all this stuff make me happy? I discovered I had a lot of junk. I wondered why I believed it was going to bring me joy. I also asked myself why I even bought it!  In today’s post we will look at how materialism does not always equate to happiness and how to discover true happiness.

 
Happiness is defined by the site, This Emotional Life, as freedom from suffering, flourishing, well-being, joy, prosperity, and pleasure. Sounds great right? I want me all of that! As I reflected on this definition I wondered where all my acquired junk fell in this definition.

As I think about freedom from suffering that material things can provide for me I can honestly say material things may help for a brief second with the suffering. Are material things flourishing and provide a positive well being? Not really! Do they support prosperity and pleasure? Health prosperity sometimes, and pleasure for a short period of time.

Now when I focus on the non-material things, like family, friends and love the answers are much different. My friends and family can provide me support from suffering in a long term. They are always there to support me. They also help me flourish and help with my positive well being. Their unconditional support gives me long lasting pleasure.

In answering these questions I discovered that materialism does not bring long lasting meaningful experiences. If it had, I would not be giving it up! Just in case you were wondering what pile was the biggest it was my junk pile. I was in awe of all the, things I bought that was just that, “stuff,” no real substance or purpose.
 
 
 
See the difference in happiness due to material things vs. happiness in human interaction?
 
 
Disclaimer, I am fully aware of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and understand that if our basic needs are not met, money or the material things are essential. With that said, I hope that you can see that your spirit is yearning for self-actualization which comes from the experience of true love, contentment and happiness. Material possessions are beautiful and I do enjoy them very much. Yet, I learned that they can be easily dumped and can become worthless. Human interactions are life experiences that stay with us for a life time.  How about you? What do you value? Ask yourself the same questions and see what you really hold dear to your heart. I have learned to value what truly matters in my life and it's not the, “things,” I am throwing away! I hope you have a wonderful week until next time, Believe. Change. Become!

Monday, August 10, 2015

To Embrace Change Is To Surrender

"In order to live the life you were destined to live sometimes 
you have to surrender to the life you thought you wanted."
 

In today’s post I want to tell you about the hardest but most rewarding thing you may ever do which is to surrender. Surprised to hear surrender come out of me? The person that has told you never to give up on your dreams. To keep on and persevere! By the end of this post, you will understand when we must surrender and why we should.
When I talk about surrendering I am talking about “knowing,” when you have gave it your all. When you can honestly say it’s no longer up to me. I am not talking about giving up when you have tried one or two times.  We don’t have to surrender to something that is worth fighting for, we must surrender to the fighting. Sometimes you have to surrender to that inner voice that tells you, “abandon the struggle.” You must quiet yourself to listen to that inner voice tell you it will be ok. Also, to surrender is to actually realize that you are not actually in control of anything. We are not in control of how long we live when we die, where you die. To surrender is to live in the moment, to live in the now.
 
Last week I brought back a post on Ego and Spirit. Surrendering is listening to the spirit and knowing without a doubt that everything will work out. This experience may feel like riding in a rowboat and the current is taking you gently along the water. It’s the feeling of love, peace and joy in your life. I have struggled with this idea because we have been given the message to: Never give up and to do whatever it takes. Yet, I am suggesting that you listen to your inner voice to know when it is ok to give up the wheel to something bigger than yourself.
 
 
Surrendering is about living in the now. Doing what you need to do to accomplish your goals and dreams, but being able to let those things that you can’t control go. I am having to surrender to my new home situation. As we continue to deconstruct and construct I have to accept my situation. I have to surrender and embrace my situation by finding gratitude in my life. I chose to live in peace and happiness despite the chaos. I focus on what lights and sinks work and don’t dwell on what does not! I guess when you practice surrender you decide to take control of your situation in a positive way.  When we do this you will feel the peace and love in your life.
 
 
So, let’s review what it means to surrender. To surrender you have to listen to that inner voice, your intuition or your heart that tells you it will be alright. Yes, fear can pop up but let it pass through you with no attachments. Love yourself unconditionally, this means that you are ok with who you are right now. When you are pursuing your life dreams or goals and things are not working out be ok with that. Take a step back and surrender. Believe in your true self. Believe that you understand the process and how it will all unfold to your benefit no matter what.
Until next Monday, Believe. Change. Become!