Sunday, June 28, 2015

Are you a BELIEVER or PERCEIVER?

"One cannot be prepared for something while secretly believing it will not happen."
Nelson Mandela
Just recently, I was juror #6 on a very lengthy criminal trial. The accused was a marijuana drug dealer who was being charged with murder on the first degree. In my perception of what I know about people who break the law, he was guilty from the start! Yet, I had to remind myself that I had to leave my biases behind and listen to the, "fact's and evidence." Also, we were all reminded that the accused was on trial for murder not for drug dealing, that he would be dealing with drug charges regardless. I thought all the jurors had heard this message well and clear, but when it came time to give a verdict our unique perceptions or biases gave many interpretations of guilt and innocence. The verdict was that there was no verdict, it was a hung jury! This was a very disappointing end to a tragic story. I ended this chapter in my life wondering about perception and how this may alter our belief system. 

Today I will discuss how perception and belief impact your dreams, and how it is essential for you to choose belief in order to make your dreams come true. I promise if you stay with me you may become BELIEVER!
Let's start with the definition of two very important words for today, belief and perception.
What is belief?
In the dictionary it is defined as follows:
1. an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists.
2. trust, faith, or confidence in someone or something.
Perception is:
1. the ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses.
It is important for me to define these two terms because they can make or
destroy your dreams.

 According to Tony Robins,



The way we view life is the result of our beliefs and perceptions. Belief is what we have decided we want to think about and perception is based on our experiences. Even if perception and reality work together to try to give clarity to our lives, they are very different.
 
Perception has the tendency for confirmation of bias, in which we search for information that confirms our preconceptions. We tend to not seek information that might disprove what we believe, but to reaffirm what we already know. Remember we are creatures that challenge change.

By now you may be saying, "Nancy get to the point!" The reason I had to go in depth about perception is because I had to make it clear that PERCEPTION is NOT REALITY! If you are a realist or need the ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses in order to be a BELIEVER, this may be a very difficult concept for you!

Belief is not the same as perception because beliefs are the things we have DECIDED are true or that exists. A BELIEF is the permission you give yourself to dream. True believers don't have to, "see it to believe it!" They, "believe it and then they see it!" True believers are empowered by their dreams. They don't fear them! Thomas Edison and Howard Schultz are examples of true believers.

Thomas Edison BELIEVED that it was possible for humans to see at night, he tried thousands and thousands combinations until he found the right formula to invent the light bulb.
 
The founder of Starbucks, Howard Schultz is a believer. Do you think if he was led by PERCEPTION we would have Starbucks? Remember he was turned down by banks 242 times. It could be concluded that if he was led by perception at some point it must have been working overtime, and it would have had him eventually stop! Yet he continued to BELIEVE in his dream until he got that final yes! There are endless examples of true BELIEVERS, look around you may know a few!
Every day we decide if we are going to be BELIEVERS or PERCEVEIRS. When it comes to your dreams, I urge you to be a BELIEVER. I have discovered that when I BELIEVE in the power of my dreams, there is this wonderful energy that transpires to my spirit. I am elated with joy as I wait for all my dreams to come true. I can only wish the same for you.
Remember, don't limit yourself because of past experiences or struggles, that is part of the journey! Never doubt that you will accomplish anything you want in your life, it simply starts with believing. Until next Monday, BELIEVE anything is possible, CHANGE all negative perceptions to BECOME who you are destined to be!
P.S. Last week I participate in a 5 minute coaching session with Chris Delaney you can check it out in Youtube at Chris Delaney. I had a wonderful experience! Chris is such a wonderful human being and exceptional Life Coach. Because of this positive experience with Chris, I have been inspired to start my Youtube channel. I will let you know when it is up and running!












Monday, June 22, 2015

Passion Trumps Talent

 
 
 
 
I know I will get many eye rolls on this post, but I have to stand my ground and say that passion is the key to your to your life's mission! You can be very talented in something, but if you have no real passion for it you will not pursue it. Your talents can only take you so far. Without passion and the character you develop in the process you can not succeed. It is that conviction that drives all major desires.
 
 
 
 
 
The quote above reminds us that talent can only take you so far, but passion and the pursue of it can give you the courage you may need when you have failed time and time again. The skills that may come naturally to some may not continue to develop if you do not practice that skill.
 

 
On the other hand if you are passionate about something, but are not talented or skillful just yet you can get better. As, Malcom Gladwell in his book Outliers, explained, "10,000 hour rule." or the idea is that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert in any particular field of study. If someone is passionate about a life goal over a period of time they will do the task well. In my opinion a person who has passion demonstrates the determination that a person with natural talent may not have.
 



Those who would believe that, "talent trumps passion," would argue that some contestants on American Idol don't have talent and that all the passion in the world could not make them singers!
They don't understand that many of those contestants are driven by, "ego." They don't care about being singers, their goal is to be, "famous." Being famous is not a mission or a purpose. Your mission should be to give or contribute something that will enhance our world. People who simply seek fame for the sake of fame don't and can't contribute in a positive way.


 
The quote above is very appropriate to end this post. You have talents that were given to you.
Yet, if you don't invest your time to improve these talents nothing will come out of them. Success is not dependent on talent alone. There are skills that you need to develop to enhance your talents. Passion will give you the strength to keep on and never back down!
 
In conclusion skill, talent, and passion need to dance together, but passion can lead in the dance floor! I know that my passion for life coaching has pushed me to develop my talents and skills in this field. I hope I have reminded you of your passion, skills and talents. See you next Monday. Until then BELIEVE. CHANGE. BECOME.

Monday, June 15, 2015

The Benefits of Compassion

COMPASSION

 
WHY SHOULD YOU DEVELOP COMPASSION IN YOUR LIFE?
 
You should develop compassion in your life because it is not only a gift to others but also a gift to yourself. Compassion is not only good for your brain but also to your soul. In my opinion compassion can lead to true happiness and peace!
 
According to Seeds Of Compassion, compassion in others stimulates your brain and heart, because the brain just like other muscles of your body needs this type of stimulation.Emotions are biologically based aspect of human functioning and are actually built into the structure of your brain as a child.
 
The site Greater Good, "The Science of a Meaningful Life," reminds us that compassion in not the same as empathy or altruism, though the concepts are related. That empathy refers more generally to our ability to take the perspective of and feel the emotions of another person, compassion is when those feelings and thoughts include the desire to help.
 
Wikipedia defines compassion as, "an emotion that is a sense of shared suffering, most often combined with a desire to alleviate or reduce the suffering of another; to show special kindness to those who suffer."
 
 
 
 
 
One of the most compassionate souls in this world was believed to be Mother Teresa. I don't know if we can ever be Mother Teresa, but we can sure strive to immolate her. As she most appropriately put it," If you can't feed a hundred people, then just feed one."
 
So how are we going to do this? It's the small things that we do that can make a difference.  It's the belief that we are more alike than we are different. We need to understand that we all want the same things, acceptance, love, and compassion. It's the belief  we all matter! It's not very complicated yet we make it so hard. We have to stop the excuse that, "we have our own problems to worry about others." Let's stop being jaded with our world and it's problems. We must practice empathy that will result in compassion.
 
The people that practice compassion have figured out that practicing compassion not only gives happiness to others but gives so much more back! I know this for a fact, because when I have practiced this humble act, I am filled with joy, I am given purpose! 
 
 
 
 
I love the picture of the soldier! This is compassion in full effect. This soldier has empathize with the pain and suffering of the child. This picture gives me hope, because it shows that the soldier was not jaded with all the suffering that he/she may have experienced. Which I truly believe is the reason why we may lack compassion for others. We have simply become jaded, with the negativity of the world. We feel a complete disconnect with all that goes around us. We have let the ego take lead and forgot why we are here, to help one another!
 
 
I believe that the best way to become more compassionate is to identify or empathize with others. Zen Habits: breath suggests these, "Just Like Me." steps:
  1. Step 1: "Just like me, this person is seeking happiness in his/her life."
  2. Step 2: "Just like me, this person is trying to avoid suffering in his/her life."
  3. Step 3: "Just like me, this person has known sadness, loneliness and despair."
  4. Step 4: "Just like me, this person is seeking to fill his/her needs."
  5. Step 5: "Just like me, this person is learning about life."
 
 
 
The image above also demonstrates the act of compassion. I can only speculate that the emotions that both these individual feeling were of love and connection!
 
 

Remember we are more ALIKE than we are different, and
 


 
Also don't forget there is more to compassion than just being empathetic. You must decide to do something about it to have the full gift! One more time, having compassion towards others gives you purpose and makes you feel more alive. You will never regret compassionate acts, but you will regret lack of compassion. Try it for yourself!  Put yourself in that persons shoes, before you judge or condemn.
 

 
 
 
With todays blog I hope I was able to define why having compassion is important to your soul,and how we are more alike than we are different! To be a solid human being there are many character traits that will contribute to your success, being a compassionate person is one of them. True success is not only discovering your true purpose but helping others with theirs.  In my optimistic view for our planet I wish for all of us to overcome selfishness, and do more for each other. Trust me you have more to gain and lot's to lose when you let go of your ego, and let your spirit take lead!
 
Until next Monday friends and don't forget, BELIEVE.CHANGE.BECOME!

 
 

Monday, June 8, 2015

It's OK to Count Your Chickens Before They Hatch





Recently I read a sign that said, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch."   I had been told this American Proverb before, but had not fully analyzed what a dream killer this phrase could be.

Know Your Phrase, sites that it originated from Samuel Butler in the years 1663-1664 it was used for the most part in a poem called Hudibras.

According to The English Language Learning Cyber Center, this proverb is used to warn someone not to plan anything that depends on a good thing you expect to happen in the future, and tell him/her to wait until it really happens.
Wikipedia defined it as:
  1. You should not count on something before it happens.
  2. You should not expect all of your hopes to be fulfilled.
In my opinion to, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch," is a dream killer because it limits endless possibilities of what your future can be.  Can you even plan for a future without faith or hope?  Some people would argue that it is wiser to be realistic even if it requires a pessimistic view. "Chicken Counters," or optimists only have positive expectations and prevail most of the time.   When they don't, they readjust their sails and try again! "Chicken Killers," or pessimists have such views because the thought of falling may be too great. In their views it's better not to as Wikipedia puts it, "expect all of your hopes to be fulfilled."  This view is based on fear.  When we think this way we can  talk ourselves out of wonderful things.  We know that the Steve Jobs and Robert Einstein would have not done what they did if they had not visualized their dreams first.  They stuck with their inventions because they, "Counted their chickens before they hatched."  They expected good results and that is why they succeeded. "Chicken Killers," disappointed by end results so we disappoint ourselves before we even get started!  We decide to fail before we get to the finish line! Mentally this makes you settle for worst case scenarios not best case scenarios.  Look around you every invention or creation that was ever done started from the visualization that it was, "possible."  It started with the belief that it could happen and gave fuel to the end results.

I used to be scared to, "Count my chickens before they hatched."  I guess it was the belief that if you think positively you can jinx or bring bad luck to a desire, because in my humble little mind positive things could not happen to me! I also believed it was better to not have high expectations, so I would not end up disappointed.  You know the strangest thing?  I could not believe that great things could happen, but bad things I would bet on all the time!  In other words I could count that I was not going to get any chickens, but was not able to stay optimistic to the belief that all my eggs would have chicks.  Funny how our brain works! Or should I say, funny how the brain works us!

As I write this blog, I am becoming a believer of visualization and I'm "counting ton's and ton's of chickens before they hatch!  But not without putting in hard work and dedication to all my hopes and dreams.                                        


I love this quote by Marianne Williamson where she encourages visualization.  Visualization is the key element to fulfilling your destiny by supporting your dreams come true!

Why not try visualization? You have nothing to lose and many wonderful things to gain. Visualization is the first step to your dreams. but there is an element of hard work that follows.

Ordinary people believe only in the possible.  Extraordinary people believe in the impossible.
To "Count your chickens before they hatch," gives you the self belief that what ever you desire for your life is on it's way.



Jim Carrey, also shares why visualization is important but it also requires work, dedication and commitment.  

In conclusion, I hope that I was able to influence you to be a, "Chicken Counter!"  I hope I reminded you that you are EXTRAORDINARY and that for this reason you should only see the possibilities not the limitations.  Remember dream big and only have positive expectations.  Until then, BELIEVE. CHANGE. BECOME!  See you next Monday!





















































































Monday, June 1, 2015

Let go of What Others Think

Why do we need to be the prisoner of others to feel validated?


To be someones prisoner is to seek validation from them, because you have not accepted how great and wonderful you are!

I have recognize that just like you, I am also influenced by others opinions. Fortunately, I'm getting better at letting go of this! I have accepted that this is still part of who I am and I gave myself permission to use the key and walk out of the prison to live a full life not a half one! With this post I hope you can do the same.
 

Why do we become the prisoners of others?

 
We get stuck on the end result
It is human nature for us to want to feel safe. We wan to make sure that our choices are going to be right. We want to save face. We don't want to take full responsibility for end results. Unfortunately, nothing is guaranteed, but that every good or bad experience will eventually pass.
 
We want to please others
The only person you should worry about pleasing is yourself. That is whom will be with you until you leave this world. In doing this you will see that this will make you free to make the right choice.
 
You are the oddball
Have you ever thought that something must be wrong with you because you are the only one going against the current? I would wonder if something was wrong with me because I wanted to get out of my safe little box. The truth is that being the oddball is a sign that you are on the right path. It's your spirit calling you to take the lead!
 
You lack self validation
You have not learned to fully love and accept yourself. You believe that you are not perfect. You have decided that someone other than yourself is better suited to tell you what is best for you! They know what is best for you because they older, and wiser than you. Sounds silly right? Yet we buy this nonsense. We seek their validation because we lack our own.
 

Reasons why seeking validation is hazardous to your spirit

It will keep you from your True North
Being a prisoner of others will keep you from your mission, your purpose your true north! Your soul is the source of your life's plan. Not your mother, father, family or friends. Don't let people that don't fully understand who you are or destined to be stop your journey.
 
Someone else's right may be wrong for your self development
We are all given special talents that make us unique. What may be good for your parents or friends is not necessarily good for you. Only you know what is the right thing for you.
 
Others don't really care as much as you may think so don't even stress
Shocking but you are not the center of everyones world! Others have their own stresses or problems to wake up thinking about you. People don't generally, unless who you are or what you do affects them, necessarily care about the choices you make.
 
Life is simply to short
I hate to break it to you but the sad truth is we are all going to die! So why would you spend your time worrying about others opinion? I can guarantee you that in your death bed you wont be thinking about those that have kept you a prisoner. You will be thinking if you lived your life to the fullest by bringing joy, loving others and living with purpose.

Remember what ever people think of you is a reflection of who they are. This view does not have to be yours. I hope I gave you a key to get out of this prison, and that the only opinion you care of is that of your soul. Until next Monday at 8:00 AM Pacific Standard Time.  Don't forget to Believe. Change. Become.