Monday, December 10, 2018

How to Develop Your Intuition

“Following your intuition requires you to trust in and love yourself.”
—Nancy Salmeron
“I knew I should have listened to my gut feeling! Something about that person did not feel right.” Have you ever said this to yourself?  Your intuition is constantly seeking to get your attention, but your practical mind gets in the way. Albert Einstein said, “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant” We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift. We think too much and feel too little and choose to ignore obvious signs that could prevent us from experiencing pain and suffering. According to Psychology Today, intuition is the process that gives us the ability to know something directly without analytic reasoning.  It bridges the gap between the conscious and unconscious parts of our mind and between instinct and reason. Your intuition is very powerful. It’s the gentle push you feel to take a certain path or the gut feeling in your stomach that something is wrong. Your intuition is the observer; it speaks in a quiet voice.  It does not push for attention and that is why you may miss or ignore it. Your intuition is your inner compass, which knows what path to take and understands why you should take it. To connect with your intuition, you must be connected to your senses. You need to get out of your head and pay attention to your gut feelings. How can you learn to do this?

To gain a better connection with your intuition you need to calm down, get quiet, and meditate. Meditation will connect you with your higher self and your senses. You don’t need to do an hour of meditation. Ten minutes to start will do. Sit in a quiet place and focus on your breathing—the simple in and out of it. The goal is to focus on your breathing and not on your thoughts. If a thought appears, observe it and let it go without judgement. Notice the sensations that also show up and immerse yourself in them. For example, if you feel uneasy or uncomfortable about a person or place pay attention these emotions have a message for you.

Go inward and trust your gut.
Feel, don’t think. You may sometimes feel the urge to do things for no apparent reason. For example, it’s not logical that you want to go to a coffee shop that is out of your way, but you do anyway. To your amazement you run into an old friend who tells you about a work position that is opening and that you would be perfect for. Your intuition is always working for you. Follow it and don’t question how logical it is.

Write down your feelings.
When you are unclear about a choice you must make, write down your feelings about it. Then put your writing aside for a while and come back to review it when you are ready to see what your intuition is trying to tell you. In cases where the choice is still not popping up, I have discovered that the ego has blocked the message. Don’t over-analyze the choice. Go with the choice that feels right and good.

Be in tune with your environment.
Staying in the present moment is key to connecting to your intuition. Use your senses and pay attention to feelings of calm. When you are in the present moment your intuition will not be blocked by focusing on the past or future. Your attention and intuition will be present in the moment.
Following your intuition requires you to trust and love yourself. To master your intuition, you must listen to it. 

The more attention you give to your intuition, the more you will recognize it and use it. Meditation will help you connect to your intuition because it focuses you inward. Writing down your feelings and seeking clarity to questions you may have can also connect you with your intuition. Stay present and in tune with what is going on in your environment and always follow what brings you joy. Until next time, Believe. Change. Become.

Sending many blessings and much love your way!

Monday, November 26, 2018

Transform Your Life by Disengaging from Your Limiting Beliefs

“Our core beliefs help shape who we are. 
Limiting beliefs can stop us from becoming who we desire to be.”
—Nancy Salmeron

As a personal development coach, it is my job to help individuals change their negative perceptions and limiting beliefs about themselves. We have been conditioned to believe that what our parents, educational system, and society have said about us is true. Our core beliefs, both positive and negative, guide us in making sense of the world. We look at situations and events and interpret what others say or do in accordance with our past life experience. A core belief is the way we see ourselves, other people, and the world. Common negative or limiting beliefs are that we are unlovable, stupid, weak, lazy, not enough, and unwanted. These limiting beliefs are based on what we were told as children. If you grew up in a nurturing environment, where you were told how amazing and intelligent you were and that you were capable of being anything you desired, you have a great start to believing in yourself and fulfilling your dreams. On the other hand, if you were told that you were stupid and would never amount to anything, you will have a difficult time believing that you can accomplish your dreams or have a fulfilling life. As a child, I believed that I was not smart and that I was too emotional and stubborn. These were my core beliefs about myself. For many years I felt they were true. Now I understand that my emotional side is because I am an empath, which means that I am highly sensitive to the feelings and energy of others.  I struggled in school because of my belief that I was not smart, but my core belief that I was stubborn carried me through. I now understand that what I perceived as being stubborn was determination and perseverance. Your core beliefs may limit everything you do. They may have prevented you from seeing future opportunities in a different job or discouraged you from pursuing what you are passionate about. What do you believe about yourself? What beliefs developed in childhood are blocking you from living a life of purpose? Here are some tips on how to eliminate negative core beliefs, which may be holding you back from realizing your dreams and living a life of passion and purpose.

Be aware of your limiting beliefs.
We all have some limiting beliefs, but many of us are not aware of them. Being aware of these beliefs will encourage you to see them differently. These negative beliefs have been lingering on since childhood. You have chosen to accept them as truth. As a child, you may have heard you were unlovable, stupid, lazy, or weak, and you believed it. If you heard and believed this, it probably resulted in you telling yourself, “I can’t do this, because I am not smart enough. I can’t keep a relationship because I am unlovable.” These beliefs determine the way you think and how you show up in the world. When you become aware of your limiting beliefs, you can pinpoint what is causing you to not believe in yourself.

Ask yourself why you have this negative belief about yourself.
Go back, go deep, and remember where you heard that you were not smart enough or worthy of love. Face these limiting beliefs and challenge them. For example, when I feel that I am not capable of accomplishing a task because I am not smart enough, I know where this feeling comes from. It comes from family members telling me I was not smart. Now that I understand that what other people think or say about me does not make it true, I am able to discredit this limiting belief.

Recognize that your limiting beliefs want to challenge you and be right.
Your limiting beliefs want proof that they are right. They want to be able to say, “I told you so.” In a way, these beliefs want to protect you from all the bad things that could happen when you try something new. So, limiting beliefs will fight you until the end to prove that you are wrong. Don’t let them. Understand the purpose of a limiting belief and ignore what they tell you. They are not right!

Undermine limiting beliefs and replace them with empowering beliefs.
When you undermine something, you take away its power. By undermining a limiting belief, you are saying that you don’t believe it is true. Replace your negative beliefs with empowering beliefs. In my case, every time I wonder if I can accomplish a new project because a limiting belief tells me that I don’t have the skill set to do the project, I remind myself of all the other times I have succeeded with something new. Replace your fearful thought with a positive thought. Tell yourself, “I can do this. I believe in myself.” Positive self-talk is key to eliminating limiting beliefs.

Believe it or not, your limiting beliefs have a purpose. They are fear-based and want to protect you from something that may result in pain. But remember that fear is a liar and what your limiting beliefs tell you to fear is an illusion. Being aware of those beliefs will encourage you to see them differently. To fulfill dreams and live a life of passion and purpose you must learn to notice, acknowledge, and replace limiting beliefs with more empowering thoughts. I know that overcoming limiting beliefs is not easy and takes a great amount of work.  But if you believe that you can change the thoughts that are holding you back from living an authentic life, you must try to eliminate them. Until next time, Believe. Change. Become.

Sending many blessings and much love your way!

Monday, November 19, 2018

Don’t Be Afraid to Shine

“Shine bright like a diamond. 
Remember that by allowing your best self to shine, 
you’ll inspire many lives in ways you cannot even imagine.”
—Nancy Salmeron

A friend and I were discussing how fear was interfering with her happiness. She told me, “Just as I think I have conquered my fears, a bigger fear appears. I have been dealing with many negative thoughts lately. I feel I am not worthy of the happiness in my present life. I see so much discontent and unhappiness in people surrounding me that I have been questioning my worthiness to have all of the beautiful things in my life.”  
“Why do you feel guilty about your happiness? I asked her.
“I don’t think it’s fair that I get to live this life while some family and friends around me are struggling with marriages and financial matters,” she replied. “I am embarrassed to share how happy I am in my marriage and with my life in general. I feel that I must make up stories of an unhappy life to relate to others and so I don’t make them feel bad. I feel that I can’t be fully real and share that I am blessed, because I could make others feel bad.”
I continued, “Why do you feel that you must hide your happiness from others?”
“I fear that I won’t be liked or that they will think I am showing off,” she said. “The truth is that I fear rejection by others. I fear that they won’t be able to relate to me and will not like me. And I don’t want to show off.”
“Listen,” I told her, “if you don’t feel that you can share how happy you are with the people around you, you may need to consider finding new friends. You can’t have friends or be around people who you must downsize your happiness for. You are not responsible for anybody else’s life, just your own. Ideally, you should not have to tell anybody that you are happy. You must just be happy. If you must hide your happiness to make other people identify with you, you are not being real. Be you, be happy, and shine for those who see your light. And if you are shining too brightly for some people and they don’t appreciate your light, that is not your responsibility.”
Today, let’s talk about how to surround yourself with friends who inspire you to live in joy and who are never threatened by your happiness.

You are the company that you keep.
It has been said that you are the company that you keep. If the company that you keep is toxic and always feels that the world is unfair, you will soon see the world in the same way. If this is true for you, then you must surround yourself instead with people who believe in you and see greatness in you. Surround yourself with those who you don’t have to downplay your happiness for. You really are only as happy as the company that you keep.

What company do you want to keep?
It is your right to decide what kind of people you want in your life. Think about who you are and what you are reflecting to the world. Never settle, and always seek people who reflect where you want to go. In your circle, you need to feel supported and cared for. You need friends who are committed to their personal evolution as you are. When you are clear on who you want in your life, you will attract these kinds of people.

Don’t be afraid to shine.
When you have the courage to shine, you won’t diminish someone else’s light. You will help them find their own light. If you allow your best light to shine, you will inspire many lives to seek joy. Never feel that you must deprive others of your happiness. You aren’t showing off, just being happy!

You are worthy of greatness and you must not feel guilty about this. If you can’t share your true self with the people around you, they are not your people. Shine bright like a diamond and remember that by allowing your best self to shine you’ll inspire many lives in ways you can not even imagine. Never settle for not shining brightly because of what others may think about you. Until next time, Believe. Change. Become!

Sending many blessings and much love your way!


Monday, November 5, 2018

How to Embrace Your Scars and Learn from Them

“Let your scars show your strength and let your soul lead the way.”
—Nancy Salmeron
“Somewhere inside of us we are all broken,” I told a woman who approached me after my presentation last week and wanted to know how to overcome pain.
 “Nobody is exempt from the pain and suffering that puts dents and cracks in our souls,” I shared. “You may assume that I am a complete human being, because I inspire and encourage others to live their greatest potential, but I too have scars from betrayal and difficult moments in my life. The only difference between someone who dwells on their scars and me is that I choose to see the beauty in putting myself back together. I don’t focus on my scars as injuries that happened to me. I see my scars as wounds that I overcame and healed from. Everything is perfect, you see. Don’t ignore why you have your scars, but don’t dwell on or wish you didn’t have them either. Those scars that others in your life gave you made the beautiful you. My only advice is to decide what you are going to focus on. Are you going to play the victim or are you going to rise above the pain and suffering? Will you let courage show you the beauty of your scars and how those scars remind you of your inner warrior? The beauty of life is that you can make choices. The choice I want you to make is to let your scars show you that you are a warrior and not a victim.”
“Thank you for reminding me that my scars have made me strong,” she said and walked away.
Our scars should build us into our greatest selves. Our scars should never hold us back or take us away from our fullest potential. But how do we allow our scars to show us our strength? How do we focus on the beauty of putting ourselves back together after life’s hardships? To live fully you must not seek either to avoid scars or to dwell on them. You must learn to appreciate and love them. Scars show how strong and fearless you were in overcoming injuries, but only when you focus on the lessons they taught. Today, let’s focus not only on how to embrace your scars but on how to learn from them as well.

Do not let life’s scars make you a victim.
Life is not fair. You are wounded. It hurts and leaves you with scars. Don’t dwell on the betrayals or life’s hardships. Don’t blame others for your scars. Ask yourself how you contributed to the hurtful situations. Break free from the “poor me” mentality by seeing your scars as lessons learned. Focus on everything you learned so you will not face that situation again. The scars that others in life cause you should not give you bragging rights either. That will only bring out the “poor me” mentality. Your scars are there to remind you of how amazing you were at dealing with difficult situations, not to show off.

Be grateful to those who caused your scars.
I believe that showing gratitude for everything that comes into your life brings you many blessings. I know it’s hard to imagine that you could ever be grateful for people who brought you pain or disappointment, but they have contributed to you becoming your greatest self. However, this happens only if you learn the lessons from your pain and don’t repeat your mistakes. Learn to forgive those who wounded you, and if you need to, let them go.

Scars can show you your inner warrior.
I believe that your scars can remind you of your strength. They remind you of the life battles you have overcome and how you are still standing. Your scars will build self-confidence if you do not play the victim. Let your inner warrior come out by being proud of your scars, which remind you that you can overcome and conquer anything!

Life is not only about weathering and overcoming the storms but also about learning what those storms taught you. Yes, those storms may have caused you scars, but those scars show your strength. Embrace, but don’t dwell on your scars. Use them as a reminder of what you have learned and overcome. Keep on putting one foot in front of the other. Remind yourself that you may be a survivor of difficult life events, but you do not need to be a victim. Learn from the pain, but never dwell in self-pity. Remember this my fearless warrior—those wounds that brought you agony and discomfort have transformed you into something beautiful and amazing. Your scars show that your injuries did not kill you. They show that you met your inner warrior, overcame, and survived. Let your scars be your shield and let your soul lead the way! Until next time, Believe. Change. Become.

Sending many blessings and much love your way!


Monday, October 29, 2018

How to Surrender to Negative Situations

Accept every negative life situation without resistance. Embrace the negative, accept what is, and watch the situation transform into something beautiful.
—Nancy Salmeron
We have been conditioned to believe that we must stop and resist negative situations that we do not want in our lives. As children we were taught not to tolerate anybody’s disrespect. We were told to fight for what we believe in and not give in—to be strong and not vulnerable. Yet, we fight for peace and war continues. We work to end hunger and still hunger is alive and well. Time after time, the universe reminds us that what you resist will persist. And we resist anyway!

Let me make myself clear. I am not saying that we must not fight to overcome obstacles to get what we desire. Or that we must not be the voice for those who have no voice. We must work to stop the injustices of the world. However, I believe that we add fuel and more negative energy to negative situations when we resist them. To resist means to oppose or to push against something that is happening in our lives. When we focus and push against what we don’t want, we invite more of it into our lives. What we focus on, multiplies. This is because we are source energy that attracts the same type of energy we put out. So, our negative energy attracts more negative energy. If you focus on the negative aspects of a situation, more negative aspects will show up. Here are some tips on how to stop resisting and, instead, start embracing and accepting every negative situation like it was part of your highest good.

Identify why you are resisting a situation.
Why are you resisting? What do you fear? We resist what we fear. We get ahead of ourselves and fear what will be in the future. For example, if you focus all of your energy on how you are not good with managing money, you will continue to struggle with money. Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want. Imagine yourself being good with money management. When you resist situations or events with negative energy, the universe gives you more negativity. When things don’t go your way, don’t fight it. Embrace it, accept it, and focus on how you can make the situation more bearable.

Resisting does not change your reality.
When you resist something negative in your life, it does not change it. Resistance only fuels it. Again, accept what you are resisting and remind yourself not to fight it. There is no need to become frustrated, annoyed, or mad when things don’t go your way. All you must do is ask yourself what the universe is trying to teach you. Don’t focus on the negative aspect of the situation, because then you will get more negativity. It’s the law of attraction that is working at those moments. Instead, look at the situation with a positive lens and see what could be learned from it and how you can move on.

Accept what is and stop resisting.
Make the best out of anything that wants to take your joy away. Accept that there are people and things you can not change. To be in the flow of life does not mean giving up or being a pushover. Getting in the flow of life means you must create positive energy that lacks resistance, so more positive things show up. This is the secret to attracting less negativity and more positivity into your life.

You are the creator of your life and your creation starts with a thought. Wherever you put your focus, that is what will grow. Your thoughts are energy-based and are directing positive or negative outcomes. When you fight or resist what life brings you, you will only get more of it. Life is hard, but it’s harder if you only focus on the negative aspects of it. You must never fight or resist anything; you must embrace it. Embrace the good and bad moments of life in the same way—with great patience and yearning to understand what that moment is trying to teach you. Work with those moments and you will see how your life transforms. Until next Monday, Believe. Change. Become!

Sending many blessings and much love your way!


Monday, October 22, 2018

How to Love Your Journey Now

“Your happiness is not found in the future; your happiness can be discovered today!”
—Nancy Salmeron
When pursuing our purpose or our dreams, we may become so obsessed with creating a desired future that we forget to enjoy today! We forget that what truly matters is to enjoy the journey to the max, no matter where we are in that journey. Being patient and immersing yourself in the present moment is important. We can focus so much on the future that we forget to celebrate today. Remember that with or without dreams, time will not stop. Time will go by and you will get older, so you must savor every moment. Your happiness is not dependent upon reaching dreams or accomplishing your goals. You can tap into your happiness right now. Don’t dwell on how much you still need to do to reach your destination. Instead, look at how far you have come and give yourself a pat on the back for not giving up. To enjoy the journey more fully you must be willing to learn from the challenges that arise. You must appreciate these challenges because every challenge serves a purpose. Embrace the challenges but living in gratitude and feeling content in your journey should be the goal. Being happy is accepting where you are. Being grateful is loving what you possess or what you have done. When you accept where you are and focus on your blessings, you will continue to advance forward. Here are some tips on how to enjoy your journey to the max and stop seeking instant results.  
Live for today.
Living for today means that you decide to welcome joy now and not postpone it into the future. When you live for today, the future takes care of itself. Stay in the present moment and love it. Do what you need to do to accomplish your goals, but practice focusing on each moment as if it was your destination. Look at the beauty around you as you move forward. Count your blessings and savor where you are at. Joy is not found “somewhere out there.” You can find joy in your everyday. What brings you joy?
Celebrate every little victory along the way.
You may not have reached the peak of the mountain, but you are much farther along the path than you were yesterday. Celebrate that! Celebrate yourself for having the courage to get up from every fall. The fact that you are moving forward is a victory. The fact that you failed and learned something new calls for a celebration! These little victories will eventually make you a champion.
Slow and steady wins the race.
Perseverance and determination are the keys to achieving your dreams. Sometimes slowing down to develop strategies and a better plan may gain you momentum in the long run. The idea that a fanatical obsession with accomplishing more and more is the key to success is a false conception. Working harder and faster leads to burnout and frustration, which may take you out of the race. Slow down, feel your soul, and ask your inner voice for guidance about what your next move should be.
Ernest Hemingway once said, “It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters in the end.” Your destination is not as important as all those little moments that brought you there. Remember, living a life of purpose and following dreams is a beautiful destination, but meanwhile you must love and enjoy your life. Immerse yourself in the beauty around you. Count your blessings and consider how lucky you are to be alive.
Don’t lose yourself so much in the future that you forget to celebrate where you are at today. Move forward at your own pace and remember that slow and steady wins the race. Your happiness is not found in the future. Your happiness can be discovered today! Until next time, Believe. Change. Become.
Sending many blessings and much love your way!


Monday, October 15, 2018

How to Overcome Pain

“Yes, pain is uncomfortable and even seems unbearable at times, 
but it will always transform you.”
—Nancy Salmeron
“Pain is inevitable in life, but happiness is a choice,” I told my friend as she shared that her marriage was coming to an end and that she was going to file for divorce.
“Choosing happiness is so much easier said than done,” she responded.
“So, let me say it again—pain is a part of life that we can’t stop from showing up, but we can invite happiness into our lives by seeking it. You have not been happy in this marriage for many years. In your heart you knew it was not going to last forever. Sometimes we invite happiness into our lives by letting go of what we wanted and embracing the pain. Yes, pain is uncomfortable, but how long we suffer is optional. I believe pain introduces us to change. I also believe that if you befriend your pain you can learn much about yourself and others. In a way, pain or discomfort makes you yearn for happiness and joy.”
“But how do I befriend pain?” she asked.
“You must give yourself the chance to grieve your divorce. A divorce is very much like a death. There were life dreams and goals in your marriage that did not come to fruition. If you want joy and happiness to be part of your life again, you must learn to face the pain. Listen to what the pain is telling you. When we ignore pain, it becomes an infected wound. Only by paying close attention to the pain and by learning from it can the wound heal. Learn to surrender to the pain and transform it into love for yourself. Invite joy in. Trust me when I tell you that ‘This too shall pass.’ A year from now life will be different for you. You will be grateful for what the pain of this divorce had to show you about yourself. You will discover how resilient and brave you are and will understand that this pain showed up to remind you that you can overcome anything that life brings to you. Be strong, my friend. Stay present, breath deeply, and take it a day at a time.”
“I will and thank you,” she said.
Here are some tips on how to handle your pain and welcome joy back into your life.

Be present with what you are feeling.
Check in with yourself. Notice and acknowledge your feelings. When you are beginning to feel an emotion—whether it is resentment, shame, sadness, or loneliness—examine where the feeling is coming from. Allow your feelings to rise and notice what sensations come up. Don’t try to control them. “It’s your party and you may cry if you want to,” as the oldies song goes. Speak to yourself as if you are speaking to someone you love. Tell yourself that you will be okay. The love you give to yourself will help you heal from pain faster.

Move your body and get out of your head.
When you have acknowledged your pain and given it some of your precious time, it’s time to bring some movement to your body. Try walking, jogging, or dancing. The key is to bring energy to something other than your brain or your thoughts. By moving your body, you are taking away the focus on the past or the future. Remember that most pain is caused by our thoughts of the past or our fear of the future. Stay in the present moment by focusing on a physical activity that will not only make you feel great but may also transform your body.

Stay still and breath.
When you are not able to exercise your body, try becoming present and breathing. Remind yourself that nothing is happening in the present moment. Breathing gently through your nose and into your heart releases a sense of peace and calm that may transform your pain. Breathing will always transport you to the present moment, which is the place where you may find some peace.

As human beings we are wired to seek happiness and joy. That is why we pursue dreams, goals, and passions. Yet, life is made of polarities. To savor joy, you must know pain. You can’t have joy all of the time. You must also welcome, embrace, and learn from pain. Pain has reminded me to be more grateful for my life. I am blessed to have the life I have. I understand that nothing is forever and the same applies to pain. The trick is to notice the pain and the emotions that show up without suppressing them. Don’t run away from your pain or ignore it; embrace and learn from it. Yes, pain is uncomfortable and seems unbearable at times, but it will always transform you. To overcome pain faster, remind yourself of the times you’ve successfully overcome adversity before. And remember, nothing is forever. This, too, shall pass.
Sending many blessings and much love your way!