Monday, March 19, 2018

A Lesson on Betrayal

“Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.”
“How are you holding up?” I asked her. She replied, “I am a human being that understands that betrayal is damaging to the soul. I know I will overcome this pain, but right now I am reacting to the heartache.” I listened as my friend shared about a betrayal by her close friend. According to my friend, whom we shall call Rose, her close friend had shared some personal information about Rose with others at her place of employment. This had left Rose devastated and less trusting. This betrayal of their friendship left her confused and seeking answers about what had happened. She had lessons to learn from this experience. She learned that being vengeful is a reaction to the pain, but that revenge deepens your pain. She learned that forgiveness does not come automatically, and that you must not rush it. Rose discovered that distancing herself from someone who had hurt her could help with the wound, but that true healing comes with time.
There are times in your life when you give unconditionally of yourself. You go out of your way to help and support people who you think will be part of your life forever.  But people change, and you are left mourning the loss of a friendship, which feels like a death. How do you trust again? How do you learn the lesson and move on? Today, let’s talk about how to learn from betrayal and how to overcome it.

Immerse yourself in the pain.
Yes, you must feel it. Betrayal can catch you off-guard. It can make you feel a sense of loss. Immerse yourself in the pain. Feel your sadness and anger. It’s your party and you may cry if you want to. Actually, you must cry it out! This whole notion that you must not let it bring you down is wrong. Let it bring you down, but don’t stay down too long.

Talk it out.
Find a friend, confidant, or reach out for a coach or counselor. We are here for you! When we share our latest setback, one rarely seeks advice or opinions from our friends. In the example above, my friend was seeking simply to be heard.  One is in disbelief of the betrayal, so it’s natural to want to make sense of what occurred. Be proactive by being open and honest about all the feelings that show up. Be aware of the fear that comes up and understand that you can move past this setback by acknowledging that it happened.

Seek to understand but learn the lesson.
The best medicine for these type of setbacks is empathy. Remind yourself that it’s not about you—it’s about the person who betrayed you. Try to understand why they did what they did. Think about how you might have contributed to this behavior. Remember it takes two to tango and you are part of this dance. Learn the lesson so that you do not repeat it. My friend mentioned that she was too trusting and failed to address issues as they surfaced in this relationship. She learned that she must address issues as they arise in her relationships.

Bless them and thank them.
Okay, maybe you can’t forgive and bless them right away. It’s even okay to curse them for a bit and to feel disappointed but then let it go. Hatred and resentment only hurts you. Bless and thank them for the lesson learned, and send them off into the sunset. Remember to be grateful for the experience because it has made you wiser.

We have all been betrayed at some point in our lives. It’s part of the human experience. It hurts to be lied to or betrayed by someone you thought you could trust. I know how difficult it is to forgive and let go. I have been there! Let time do the healing but be proactive in learning the lesson. Bless and thank those who hurt you. Trust that you will overcome, and trust that not everyone will betray you. Until next Monday, Believe. Change. Become.

Sending blessings and love your way!

Monday, March 12, 2018

How to Have a Life That Feels Like a Vacation

“Create a life you do not need a vacation from.”
—Nancy Salmeron
A turquoise-green ocean stretched in front of me and marshmallow clouds floated above me in a pale-blue sky. Majestic cream-colored sand surrounded me. The sound of the ocean waves calmed my mind and soothed my soul. I was in beautiful Tulum, Mexico—a place where memories were made and reflections developed, which resulted in great discoveries about myself and why we go on vacations.
Why do you take vacations? To get away? To escape from your reality? To seek adventure? I used to go on vacations to get away from my life. I wanted to escape my reality because I did not enjoy it. I used to seek adventure because my life felt dull. But not anymore! I love my life, so I don’t feel I need to get away from it. I enjoy my work, family, and friends too much to want to escape my reality. My life has become an adventure because I am enjoying my journey of believing, changing, and becoming. Our trip to Tulum, Mexico was a beautiful experience that reminded me of why I love my husband the way I do. It brought us closer and made us realize how lucky we are to have each other, yet we did not have to go that far to discover this. Vacationing for many may imply that happiness is found in a beautiful, beach resort somewhere across the world, but today I want to tell you that you don’t need to go that far. If you are grateful for your life and love the people in it, your home, and what you do for work, you may never feel the need to get away. I am not saying you shouldn’t take a vacation. Something happens to your senses and your spirit when you immerse yourself in new, beautiful surroundings. But let a vacation enhance your life experience, rather than taking you away from the life you are experiencing. I believe that if you love your life, a vacation is the cherry on top and not the whole ice cream sundae. Today, let’s talk about how to live a life that feels like a vacation.

Work for your purpose, not just for a living.
I often speak about living a life of your creation by living your purpose. It has been my observation that individuals that hate their jobs are not living their purpose and only look forward to Fridays, vacations, and retirement. Weekends, vacations, and retirement can enhance our lives, but they are not a time, place, or destination where happiness suddenly appears. My issue with looking forward to vacations or retirement too much is that you miss out on life by not being present. Living in purpose is essential to discovering your reason for being alive. As I live a life of passion and purpose, I discover that all my Mondays feel like Fridays and that my life feels like a vacation that I don’t want to retire from. Identify your passion so that it can connect you to your purpose.

Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you.
When you go on vacation you will notice that all the people around you are filled with happiness and joy. Excitement is in the air! To live a life that brings that vacation feeling, engage with people who uplift and inspire you. If that is not possible, minimize the time you spend with individuals who bring you down. Be mindful of the energy of those you bring into your life. We are the company that we keep, so only keep those who want to see you happy and soaring.

Actively create a home environment that is conducive to your spiritual growth.
If your home does not rise to meet and greet you when you walk into it, you need to make some changes. When I leave on vacation, I miss my home very much. I always want to come home because I love my home. I feel inspired in my home. When I hear people say they don’t want to go home, I always wonder why. Your home does not need to look or feel like a resort. It simply needs to feel like and be an extension of you. If your home is not feeling like that, seek to make it a place that nurtures and enhances your soul.

The older I get the more I love my life. I love my life because I have discovered the reason for my existence. I love the people who surround me because they make my life more interesting. I feel my home is my sanctuary because it’s an extension of who I am. As you plan your next vacation, reflect on why you are embarking on your trip. Vacations wake up all our senses and show us that anything and everything is possible for our lives. Yet, if you look forward to your vacations more than to your present life, you need to reevaluate what purpose or meaning you are giving to your life. Be grateful, stay present, and love your life every day, not just one week out of the year. Until next time, Believe. Change. Become!

Sending blessings and much love your way !

Monday, March 5, 2018

How to Liberate Yourself from Stress

When we get overwhelmed, we forget what we are capable of.
—Nancy Salmeron

Just last month I wrote about how stagnant and still my life felt. Well, the universe heard my concern and decided to shake things up a bit. My brain is now on information-overload. I have many projects, presentations, and programs that I must work on, as well as a week-long vacation to Tulum, Mexico that could not have come at a worst time. But is it really a bad time, or am I just feeling overwhelmed? I want to scream and pull my hair out. Just last month I was restless because life seemed too calm, and today I am seeking some of that calm. I am seeking time to reflect and be mindful, but fear tells me that I must work, work, work, because I don’t have enough time. My soul intervenes by telling me that I should calm down and relax because my projects always get done. As I try to focus my attention on what brings me a sense of calm, I realize that my soul is right. I always get tasks done, no matter what. Yet, fear has a point. I have no extra time for procrastination; deadlines are approaching; and I won’t have a lot of time when I come back from vacation to do everything that must be done. How do I find balance? One trick I use is to be in the flow, but also have an intention for using my time. As I contemplate on how I will meet all of my deadlines, I understand that I must watch my time. I also understand that I must not lose myself in the doing, so that I stop living and enjoying life. Yes, I have many projects due in the next couple of months, but I also have family and friends to build life memories and experiences with. I need to be mindful that life is fleeting and that the journey is much more important than the destination. So, for the times when you are feeling overwhelmed, here are some tips on how to slow down, smell the roses, and embrace your hectic life.

Prioritize and stay present.
To find balance you must prioritize, and focus on doing one thing at a time. I prioritize by noticing which projects most urgently need my attention. Don’t stress yourself by attempting to do many things at the same time. Do one thing at a time, complete that task, and then move on to the next task. Decide what is most important to attack, and stick with it until it’s done.

Just breathe.
Breathing is my favorite thing to do when I am feeling overwhelmed. Breathing can reduce your anxiety, stress, and even your blood pressure. So, if you are feeling out of breath and out of your element, focus on your breath for a few minutes and remind yourself that you have everything under control.

Enjoy nature.
When all else fails, and you need to reconnect with your soul, connect with nature. When you are feeling overwhelmed, go for a walk in nature. If you can, go for a hike; if you are not able to get away for a hike, go for a walk in your neighborhood. Enjoy the fresh air and just breath.

Disconnect to reconnect with your soul.
Technology can connect us to the world, but can disconnect us from our soul. Be careful of the time you invest in technology, including social media. Designate a time to check your email and social media, and don’t let it consume you. Before I check my email or social media in the morning, I check in with my soul by being with my kids, sending them to school, feeding my chickens, and meditating.  Don’t overwhelm yourself. Everything that needs to get done, will. Trust in that.

Feeling overworked and overwhelmed does not let you give the best of yourself to the world, and in addition it can be detrimental to your health. As I contemplate my state of mind, I am mindful of how I prepare for my week, days, and hours. It’s important that you designate specific hours to work, but it’s as important for you to designate time for yourself and your loved ones. Take that vacation and immerse yourself in the present moment. Be sure to disconnect from devices that not only drain your battery, but drain your soul. Live a life that matters by doing what matters. Be organized with your day, but embrace where your day takes you. Love and be grateful for your busy life, but learn to reconnect with your soul by breathing and enjoying nature. And remember to relax, because things will get done! Until next Monday, Believe. Change. Become.

Sending many blessings and love your way,

P.S. My book, Believe. Change. Become.: Remembering Who You Were Destined to Be, has been published. Check it out!

Monday, February 12, 2018

How to Listen to What the Universe Is Trying to Tell You

The way to become one with the universe is to trust it.
As an inspirational speaker, I never know who will be in the audience to listen to my message of living a life of passion and purpose. When thinking about who my audience will be prior to a presentation, I always remind myself that the universe has a special way of putting the people who need to hear my message in the room. It never fails. I always have people who thank me for my presentation afterward because they needed to hear something I said. Last week I presented at a Women’s Bridal Event. This was a beautiful event for soon-to-become brides. There were over one hundred vendors and six women speakers at this event, myself included. I was a bit concerned ahead of time about how many women would come to listen to the presenters, because there would be so many amazing activities going on, but I decided to attend because I believe that all of my presentations will attract the individuals that need to hear my message. So, if five women show up, these are the women that needed to be there.   But in this instance, I was afraid that no one would show up to hear me speak because this event had  vendors selling dream honeymoons, beautiful cakes, glamorous wedding gowns—anything a bride needed to have the wedding of her dreams. There was even a bridal fashion show. The ladies at this event were celebrating that they recently got engaged. They were in a state of bliss. How could I possibly compete with that? And while all those activities were on the main floor, the speakers were on the bottom floor. I told myself that I would be very lucky if one or two women showed up. But when the time for my presentation came, eight women showed up! “Yay!” I told myself, these are the eight women I prepared this presentation for.  These were the women that needed to hear my message of living a life of passion and purpose on that day. I felt my presentation was a success, regardless of the number of women in the room. “How do I measure success?” you ask. I measure success, in part, by the fact that I had eight ladies in the room. But also, I believe there is a reason why we encounter everyone in our lives. I was reminded of this because many of the women told me they were glad they came to see me present. They said that they needed to listen to my message.  I believe that everything has a purpose and that you should always find blessings in whatever happens. I was grateful for the experience and for the connections I made with these women. It reaffirmed for me that people come into our lives for a reason and that we should pay attention to why they show up. Here are three tips on how to listen to what the universe is trying to tell you.

Listen to your gut.
 When I asked some of the women in the audience why they decided to come downstairs to the speaker’s room when the party was going on strong upstairs, they told me they felt it in their gut. There was something inside of them telling them they should come to hear me speak. Listen to that feeling, and if it feels right, go for it. Believe it or not, those feelings know more that your critical mind.

Pay attention to your surroundings.
Pay attention to your surroundings. Everything in your external environment is a potential sign. I have experienced that when I am wondering about or questioning something, I will stumble upon answers. The trick to listening to your surroundings is to fine-tune your attention to detail. To do that, you must be present. Be present by reconnecting to the hear and now. Work on one task at a time and stay focused on that task.

Take note of recurring experiences.
Pay attention to experiences that keep on showing up. It could be people, places, or things. For example, when I was an educator, I would be asked to participate in committees, workshops, and projects that involved developing character in students. I did not know then that the universe was trying to direct me into a career of personal development. I can see it clearly now. The universe always has a plan. It’s up to you to take note and figure out that plan.

In conclusion, the universe is speaking to you right in this moment. If you have stumbled upon this blog, maybe there is something I am intended to share with you that could inspire you to change your life. Recognizing and receiving information through signs depends on your willingness to see and listen to the signs all around you. Trust your gut feelings, and be alert to what the universe is trying to show you. Until next Monday, Believe. Change. Become.
Sending many blessings and love your way!

P.S. My book, Believe. Change. Become.: Remembering Who You Were Destined to Be, has been published. Check it out!

Monday, February 5, 2018

Are You Ready to Give up on Your Dreams?

"Self-doubt is the anchor that keeps 
our ships from sailing."
“I don’t know if I can continue doing this,” my coaching client told me, as we drank coffee and talked about her past business failure. She had joined a health food network marketing business that she thought had lots of potential, but she had not succeeded yet.  “I didn’t know there would be so much disappointment in pursuing my dreams. I have lost confidence that I could possibly be successful,” she shared.
“Failures are not the end of a dream; they are lessons you have to learn,” I responded. “Failures are kinks that you need to work out before you can grow. Think about your business failure. What is something that you learned from it? What could you do differently next time?”
“Well, I guess I could invite extra people to my presentations, so that I have a better result.”
“Yes, and remember that you are just starting. It will take some time to get momentum, but you will get there. For now, a small group is a perfect opportunity to practice your presentation with the few people that do show up,” I told her.
“I had not thought about it that way,” she said. “You are right. A small group is a perfect opportunity for me to get better at my presentations. Thank you!”
We have all felt disappointed at times when pursuing a new career venture, a dream, or a life goal. I personally know what it is like to fail my way to the top. I have been disappointed many times, but I have learned to pick myself up quickly. Here are four tips that will help you manage self-doubt resulting from a failure.
“Rome wasn’t built in a day.”
As entrepreneurs, we assume that success happens overnight. Why not? We are passionate about our service or product, so everybody else should be too, right? The reality is that success requires time. Give yourself time to grow. We make a mistake when we believe success happens overnight. Studies show that it could take three to five years, sometimes even longer, to achieve success in a new business. Although there is no exact timeline for success, I believe that you become successful when you make the choice to dedicate time to a life goal or dream.
Remember a time when you were successful.
I know it’s hard to stay positive when you have failed, but you must remember the times when you were successful. Know that you can win because you have won before. Write down your WINS. Ask family and friends to remind you of the times when you reached your goals. We are so critical of ourselves; we focus so much on our failures that we forget about our past triumphs.
Love yourself.
 “Love Yourself,” says the motivational speaker and author, Louise Hay. In the past, I did not understand that this phrase is the answer to many of our problems. When we love ourselves, we treat ourselves with dignity and respect. Think about someone that you love—perhaps your child, husband, or wife. Would you mentally abuse them? No. Then why would you abuse yourself? When you love yourself, you speak kind words to yourself. You believe in yourself and know that you are worthy and capable of acquiring your dreams. Be as kind to yourself as you are to others.
Fail, fail, and fail some more.
Remember that when you fail it’s a sign that you are trying. The detours that you encounter on the road to success will eventually put you on the right track. Failure is part of growth. Embrace it, learn from it, and move on. As I continue to fail, I am proud of my personal growth. Failure has taught me that there is no one way to get to my final destination. Dare to fail. Dare to learn. Dare to grow.
As I fail forward, I realize that in life we must experience disappointment so that we can not only learn from our failures, but also appreciate our successes more. It’s a win-win because it teaches us so much about ourselves and our strength. Expect disappointment on your journey to your becoming. Expect success as well. Love yourself and know that you are worthy of treating yourself with dignity and respect. As you do, you set the mood for others to do the same, and you also gain the stamina to continue to move forward even when all hope seems gone. Keep your chin up, beautiful, and persevere! A day will come when you will look back at your stumbles and failures and be glad you never gave up. Until next time, Believe. Change. Become.
Sending many blessings and love your way!

P.S. My book, Believe. Change. Become.: Remembering Who You Were Destined to Be, has been published. Check it out!

Monday, January 29, 2018

Your Life Mirrors the Choices You Make

“I choose to live by choice, not by chance.
To be motivated, not manipulated.
To be useful, not used.
To make changes, not excuses.
To excel, not to compete.
I choose self-esteem, not self-pity.
I choose to listen to my inner voice,
Not the opinions of others.”

I love inspirational quotes. I share quotes as an essential part of my work because they move me, and I believe they can move others. Last night I read the quote above, and I resonated with it one-hundred-percent! It made me realize that our power is found in the choices that we make. It is a tragedy that many people forget that we have a choice to live the life we want to live. Every morning you have a choice to live a life of abundance and gratitude. As I reflect on my life, I see all the choices I made that have brought me to where I am today. Do I regret my choices? No—because those choices molded me to become the person I am today. Yes—because some of those choices brought me great pain and sorrow, although they made me strong. The choices you make in your life will have consequences. Sometimes those consequences teach powerful lessons that are essential to our personal growth. The purpose of this post is to remind you of the enormous power you have and that this power is found in the decisions you make. You need to understand that our destiny is not dependent on the circumstances we live in, but on the choices that we make. If we want to change our lives, we have to work with our belief system and improve the choices that we make. The amazing thing about life is that we always have the power to change anything that is not working for us. That power is found in the power of choice. Here are some tips on how to create a life of your own choosing.

Choose to live a life of choice, not chance.
Are you loving your life? When I think about the life that I get to live, I am filled with joy. I get to create my life. The world sees me as I want to be seen. I choose to live a life that reflects my ideals. If you are waking up excited about your life, you have made the choice to be a creator of your life. Choose to do the things that make you feel bliss and joy.

Be motivated, not manipulated.
Be motivated everyday to live your best life. Don’t let others manipulate you into doing things that cut your wings. If you must, remove people from your life who want to clip your wings. Surround yourself with people who reflect what you desire for your life. Choose wisely who you let into your life.

Be useful, not used.
Be useful, and don’t let others use you. When you are feeling that you are being taken advantage of, make the choice to remove yourself from that situation. Be mindful of what you give and who you give it to.

Make changes, not excuses.
When some of the choices you make don’t result in what you’d thought they would, it’s okay to make changes. Let change fix the situation that is not letting you thrive. Drop the excuses, and embrace starting over one more time.

Choose to excel, not compete.
To excel in what you do is to focus on yourself and not others. Strive to become better than you were yesterday, but don’t strive to be better than anybody else. Focus on your personal growth and not what others are doing. When you choose to compete with others you loose sight of the goal, which is to get better at your craft.

Choose self-esteem over self-pity.
You will make mistakes—we all do—but don’t dwell in self-pity. Choose self-esteem. Trust that you know what to do next. Instead of blaming yourself, choose to forgive and love yourself.

Choose to listen to your inner voice.
There is a voice inside you that must be your guide. This voice is wise, so listen to it when in doubt. Cut down outside noise and the voices of others, so that your inner voice can become your guide.
Remember, our lives mirror the choices that we have made, yet every moment we have the power to make a different choice if we are not happy with what we see. Love your life by executing the choices that bring you closer to what you want your life to look like. When you are not happy with something in your life, make the choice to change it! Until next Monday, Believe. Change. Become.

Sending many blessings and love your way!
P.S. My book, Believe. Change. Become.: Remembering Who You Were Destined to Be, has been published. Check it out!

Sunday, January 21, 2018

You Need Courage to Pursue Your Purpose

Your life matters. Your life has a purpose. May you have the courage to pursue it.
—Nancy Salmeron

A few weeks ago, I met with a charismatic, passionate, and determined young woman who wanted to inquire about my work as a writer, personal development coach, and inspirational speaker. I was humbled that she wanted to learn from me. This was not the first time I encountered a woman who wanted to get a cup of coffee together to learn about my work. Yet, I am always amazed by the fact that I inspire other women to pursue a path of personal development and inspirational speaking. This reaffirms for me that I am on the right track and that I should continue to empower individuals to live a life of bliss and passion by living their purpose. As we discussed what makes me come alive, I asked her to tell me about her passions and purpose. She mentioned that she has worked a great deal on herself and has become a woman whom she admires. She believes that self-love is the answer to being a successful human being. I agreed. I felt that she had the capacity to impact the world in a positive way, but I reminded her that self-belief or self-love is a long, torturous journey that we don’t only embark upon on the outside, but that we must also seek deep within to discover. I also shared that this journey takes time and that we must never promise a quick-fix to those we speak with. This conversation made me think about my message of living a life of bliss and passion and connecting it to our purpose. Being in purpose and being a creator of your life is a beautiful thing, but it takes time, dedication, and perseverance to live a life of bliss and joy. When you embark on this journey, you realize that the uphill climbs are tough, but they remind you of your strength. This serendipitous connection with this beautiful, young lady made me realize that I must be cautious about suggesting to you that being in purpose is something that happens overnight and that it’s easy. It’s not easy. It’s one of the hardest things you will ever do. Many have tried and failed. Only those individuals with the heart of a lion stick around to see who they become. Do you have what it takes to pursue your reason for being here? Are you strong enough to face disappointment and give it a wink and move on? Are you determined and patient about discovering who you can become? I believe you must be courageous when you seek to discover the purpose of your life. This journey of self-discovery brings you many trials and tribulations, but will reward you with your “why,” if you stick around and see your purpose manifest. Here are some tips for staying the course to living a life of passion and purpose.

Have the courage to pursue your purpose.
Let courage be your guide to purpose. Your purpose is your reason for being—your contribution to our world. Some are born knowing what their purpose is. For others, like myself, it may take forty years to discover what it is. Following your reason for being on earth may be easier said than done. You will discover many painful disappointments that will make you question your sanity and wonder about your purpose. There will be days filled with fear that will impede you from believing that your purpose is why you are here. You will have many reasons to give up on your purpose. But if you are patient you will discover, along with times of doubt and fear, moments of clarity and courage. Be brave, let courage be your guide, and embark on this amazing journey that will transport you to your destiny.

Be resilient and move forward.
Learn to bounce back when you feel defeated by looking at how far you have come. Develop perseverance by understanding that these difficult moments will pass. Remember that you are powerful beyond measure, and you have everything you need to live a life of passion and purpose. It is part of the journey to encounter failure and disappointment, but it is also part of the journey to bounce back! Understand that your awareness of your purpose comes with setbacks and tribulations that will eventually result in triumphs. Keep on pushing forward despite all the obstacles that you stumble upon. Your purpose is waiting for you, so be resilient and move forward.

Believe in your purpose.
The act of believing that you are worthy of pursuing your passion and living a life of purpose is a big commitment. When you have doubts that you can live a life of bliss and do what you love, more challenges, fears, and doubts are introduced into your heart. Believe without a doubt that your purpose is the gift that you must share with the world. As you believe in you, others and the world will do the same.

To live a life of passion and purpose is not for the weak of heart. Many try and fail because they lack sufficient courage. They listen to the voice of fear. They don’t believe that their purpose is the reason they are here. It is those brave souls who follow the voice of their soul, who are determined, and who have courage by their side who will eventually welcome purpose into their lives. Let go of fear, stay persistent, and let your purpose connect you to your destiny. Until next Monday, Believe. Change. Become.

Sending many blessings and love your way!

P.S. My book, Believe. Change. Become.: Remembering Who You Were Destined to Be, has been published. Check it out!