Monday, July 24, 2017

Happiness Is a Choice




“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.”
-Wayne Dyer

Lately, I am living in my head a lot. I am worrying about the future and forgetting that I can choose my reactions to change. My husband’s seventeen-year-old daughter, Andrea, will soon join our family.  I am excited to include her in our family, but I am also nervous. Our family is now four people— my daughter, Miranda, who is nine; my son, Julian, who is sixteen; my husband; and myself.  We will become a family of five. It’s a change in my life that I am adjusting to. I have some fears and doubts about this change.  I worry what will happen if Andrea does not click or connect with me or other family members. I know it’s normal to have fears and doubts about the unknown, but I also know about the power of choice. I can choose to have negative expectations or positive ones; to fight this change in my life or embrace it; to struggle against the current or let events flow; to let my fears consume me or to acknowledge my fears and confront them. We all have this immense power of choice, but few use it or understand how it works. Here are three tips on how you can choose your reactions to change.

I have the choice to stay positive.
                Let me be clear. You have the power to decide how change affects you. Right now, I have the power to decide that I am not going to get ahead of myself and let negative, fearful emotions take away my peace. I am going to stay focused on expecting a beautiful relationship with my new daughter. Positivity is where we discover true magic, and it’s my choice to embrace it. Stay positive about your life changes. Yes, change is hard, but it also teaches us something about ourselves.

I can choose to be unafraid.
                Acknowledging my fears reminds me that I am human. It’s okay to worry and wonder. I can be afraid, yet I can reduce my fear with thoughts of love. My worst-case scenario of Andrea not liking her new family disappears when I give my fear a name. In this case, my fear is that Andrea will not connect with me or someone else in her new family. Once I have identified the fear that is bothering me, I can shift it. I remind myself that we are a pretty amazing family, and that she will love us. Call your fears out. Name and understand them. Your fears are not intended to hold you back, but to be noticed and  conquered.

I can choose to be happy.
I also have the choice to be happy. I have the choice to focus on the present moment—the right now. But if I do feel the need to project myself into the future, then I will seek only happy thoughts. You also have the power to be happy. It is your right to find joy in your present moment. Let the future take care of itself. You do not need to postpone happiness until the future. The future is not guaranteed. Only this moment matters, so choose happy now!

                Many will go through life experiencing themselves as victims of every new circumstance that shows up. Let me remind you that you have a choice about how you react to everything that happens. You have a choice to let optimism lead you forward or to let pessimism hold you back. Embrace positivity in everything that comes your way. Choose to acknowledge fear, but don’t let fear hold you back. Invite happiness into your present moment. Choose to live in the now, and let joy be your companion. Until next time, Believe. Change. Become.
Sending many blessings and love your way!                                  
Nancy😊


Monday, July 17, 2017

It Takes Courage to Surrender


"Sometimes surrendering means giving up trying to
understand and becoming comfortable with not knowing."
-Unknown

Have you ever tossed and turned all nightlong wondering if you would get a job that you applied for, or if a business deal would come through? This used to happen to me in the past. I would wake up tired, because I had been tossing and turning, wondering if a speaking or coaching contract would or would not happen. I would often feel anxious, scared, and tired, until I finally concluded that I had to surrender to not knowing. I have had a tough time with surrendering, because I learned that I must never give up and that I must fight till the end. I teach this to my clients all of the time. Yet, there is so much power in letting go and trusting the universe that no matter what happens we will be okay. We live under this illusion that we can control everything that happens in our lives, but I have news for you. We can’t. When you try to control things outside of your control, you are exhibiting a fear-based mentality. It’s natural to have some doubts and worries about your world, but they don’t make things any better. In my case, worrying about whether I would get speaking and coaching contracts used to take away my peace of mind. Now, I don’t worry about rejections, or “no’s.” I see them as detours to the possibility of something better. I have learned to surrender and trust that everything is working in my favor. I believe that only the right doors will open, and that I must trust and be patient. Today, let’s talk about letting go and surrendering your desires to the universe, so that you may find more joy and peace in your journey to success.

To surrender does not mean to give up.
To surrender is to have faith in something greater than yourself. Surrendering is telling your source to take the wheel because you have done everything in your power to accomplish your goal or dream. When you surrender, you are giving up fear. Many of us have believed that when you let go, you are giving up. The truth is that you are giving the universe an opportunity to have your back. You are trusting that whatever happens is part of a better plan for your life. Something awaits you that is more amazing than what you originally dreamt of. Do everything that you can to acquire your dreams and goals. Then understand that there is power in letting your source, the universe, take over.

Let go of expectations.
In accordance with the law of attraction, we are energy, and the energy you send out will be reflected back onto you. When you have no attachment to a specific result or outcome, you open yourself up to all sorts of wonderful possibilities. Letting go of expectations and the struggle to control outcomes will bring you peace and calm. And you will be amazed at what the universe has in store for you!

Conquer your fears.
It takes courage to surrender. What do you fear will happen if you let go? In my case, I felt that if I did not worry about a business deal, I would lose it. The truth is that I was letting fear control me. I still don’t know what will happen with any of my business ventures, but I know that I will be fine no matter what happens. Conquer your fears by surrendering any doubts that everything will work out for the best. In the end, everything works out for the best, or it’s not the end.

To let go is to set yourself free.
I feel so relieved and free. I am no longer the prisoner of “what ifs.” I am content and excited about what will be. You need to set yourself free by surrendering any doubt. Let it go. Go with the current and not against it. Life is not that hard; we  make it hard by trying to control everything in it. Trust in the universe—in your source. Know that life wants only the best for you!
I am a work in progress. I had been taught to fight to the end, and this brought a great deal of resistance into my life. As I learn to trust that the universe is my friend and that it has my back, I discover more joy and peace. Letting go has not been easy, yet it has made me wiser. Let go of the fears that hold you back, and have faith that the universe has your best interests in mind. Foster the positive energy of surrender, and let go of the toxic energy of controlling to live a peaceful, joyous life. Until next Monday, BELIEVE. CHANGE. BECOME!

Sending many blessings your way!

Nancy😊


 [DM1]Boy, is this true!

Monday, July 10, 2017

How to Make Your Passion Your Paycheck



“I would rather die of passion than of boredom.”
-Vincent Van Gogh

Last week, at a networking event, someone asked me what I did for a living. I responded, “I help people come alive.” “How do you do that?” they then asked. “I help individuals identify their passion, so that they can pursue their life’s purpose,” I said. “Don’t you think passion is overrated?” they asked next. “No, I don’t think so,” I answered. “I believe that if people pursue their passion and live in purpose, they will find more meaning in their lives and be happier. According to a Gallup poll, seventy percent of people hate their jobs or are disengaged at work. I believe that when people do what they love, they give their best work and will never feel disengaged. These people understand that they are the creators of their lives. They have discovered the connection that their passion has with their life’s purpose, and they are always ready to give their gift to the world. I am passionate about empowering individuals, women specifically to believe that they can pursue their passion. Therefore, I don’t think living passionately is overrated.” The person asked me no more questions after that. Today, I want to talk about passion and how it is the gateway to a life of joy. Here are three tips for letting passion take the lead in your life.

Identify what brings you joy.
What brings me joy is empowering the human potential. I love seeing people pursuing what makes them come alive. I get chills when I see someone doing what they love for a living. I see the creativity in individuals when they are using their unique talents to help others. One person’s talent might be making jewelry. In making jewelry, they bring beauty and joy to others.  Another person’s talent might be nursing and assisting in saving people’s lives. Again, using their gifts, they make this world a better place. What are your gifts? What brings you joy?

Put fear aside and pursue your passion.
I was afraid when I began pursuing my passion of personal development. I found it hard to leave a wonderful career as an educator to follow my purpose of personal development. My fearful ego voice tried to convince me many times that I should continue on my well-known path of teaching. It told me that there was nothing wrong with my life and that I was stupid for giving up a modest, but secure, income for something that had no real guarantees. Yes, I experienced sleepless nights when fear of the “what ifs” conquered me. I had no idea what it took to run a coaching business or how much work it required. However, if I was going to advise others to live their passion and I was not doing that myself, then I was being a hypocrite. So, I decided to take the plunge, leave my teaching position, and sink or swim! Disclaimer: I am not suggesting that you do what I did. I am suggesting that you take whatever step fits for you in pursing your passion.

Ask yourself, “What is the worst that could happen?”
Anything that is worthwhile requires some risk. In my mind, the worst that could happen when I decided to pursue my passion was that I would fail. That was scary! I continued to feel scared until I heard “The Strangest Secret” by Earl Nightingale. If you have not heard this recording, I recommend that you look it up. Earl Nightingale reminded me that I was failing if I was not doing what I was passionate about. He also says that one fails if we stop pursuing our dreams. It’s important to understand that you will stumble and fall, but you will succeed if you fall forward and keep on moving. Also, you must remember that sometimes your worst failure only happens in your mind.

To conclude, I want to remind you that you are amazing, and you should never settle for a dull life. Seek passion, not only in your romantic relationships, but in every aspect of your life. Look at your life. How have you handled setbacks? If you are reading this, you have survived many trials and tribulations, and here you stand. Don’t doubt the power of your soul. When you go after your passion, you will develop courage and strength. Fight to believe in your life’s purpose! Never doubt that you have what it takes to go after your dreams, because if you didn’t you wouldn’t have these desires to begin with. It will not be easy. Failure and pursuing your passion go hand in hand. However, you fail everyday if you are not doing what you love. So, keep your head up, Buttercup, and follow your passion. Until next time, Believe. Change. Become.

Sending many blessings and love your way!
Nancy😊


Monday, June 26, 2017

How to Make Your Life Goals and Dreams a Reality


“Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. 
Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. 
It cannot be any other way. 
This is not philosophy. This is physics.”
-Albert Einstein

I am presenting a workshop this week on manifesting dreams. It is one of my favorite workshops to present because I teach participants about quantum physics and the law of attraction, and then they make a vision board. I have been asked, “What is the point of making a vision board?” My response is that making a vision board helps you to identify your dreams, desires, and life goals. You give attention and clarity to your intentions. A vision board can also help you maintain focus on achieving specific life goals. I love to see women ignited to believe in the power of their dreams. I love to awaken them to the possibility of realizing their deepest desires. But before we do the vision board, we talk about energy and the law of attraction. Here are five things we talk about before making a vision board.

Watch your thoughts.
We may never become what we want, but we will always become what we believe. So, we need to be mindful of our thoughts. Focus on positive expectations. Think good thoughts. We are energy; our thoughts, words, and actions are part of that energy. One of my favorite quotes, attributed to multiple sources, is: “Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.” As you can see, your destiny begins with the energy initiated in the mind.

Your energy is like a puzzle piece.
Your energy, positive or negative, wants to connect with the correct puzzle piece, like in a jigsaw puzzle. If your energy is fearfully focusing on worst case scenarios, you will send negative energy out into the universe that will reflect on you. Work on staying positive and optimistic so that the positive puzzle piece finds you instead. Focus on the beauty of staying optimistic and positive in every element of your life. This positive focus is more than wishful thinking; it’s believing that you are worthy of wonderful things happening in your life.

Be grateful and practice gratitude.
Being grateful for what you already have will let you practice gratitude. When you live in gratitude you are in a positive energy flow. When you have a positive energy flow, you attract more positive things to your life. I love living in gratitude, because it reminds me how blessed I am. I find my blessings in the faces of my daughter, Miranda, and my son, Julian. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband, who supports and believes in me. I have been blessed with a wonderful tribe of women who see my vision and support me into making it a reality. Be grateful for where you are now; stay optimistic and hopeful for your future; and know that the best is yet to come.

Visualize living your dreams with feeling and emotion.
When you visualize yourself in success, success will follow. Who do you want to become? What do you hope to acquire? Smell it; feel it; and then you shall have it. The energy that you transmit to the universe good or bad will be the same energy that will be reflected to you. I have grand dreams for myself and my business. I created those dreams in my mind, but they will soon find me. I have no doubt about that.

Let go of attachment and outcome; Be patient.
I believe that patience is one of the grandest virtues. I have struggled with patience all my life. We all want results now, or we assume something is not working. Once you have put action into your life goals and dreams, you must surrender and not be attached to the outcome. You must let go and trust that whatever dream or goal you had will manifest in its own time. Also, understand that sometimes, God or the universe has a better plan for you. All of this will be revealed to you in time. Be patient and be open to other wonderful possibilities. In my journey, I have been beautifully surprised at how my dreams have taken me to places that I never imagined.

My dreams continue to manifest. I now understand that if I stay positive, practice gratitude, stay patient, and surrender it all, the dreams that I have for my life will find me. Meanwhile, as I wait, I remind myself how lucky I am to be doing what I love and to have beautiful people by my side. Believe in your dreams, because they are trying to find you. Until next time, Believe. Change. Become.

Sending many blessings and much love your way,
Nancy😊




Monday, June 19, 2017

Stay in the Present Moment


“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.
Always work with it not against it.”
-Eckhart Tolle

My father has been in the hospital for the past week. He has been losing a lot of weight and has had a persistent cough for a few months now, so finally at the request of his doctor he was admitted to UCSF Medical Center in San Francisco. His illness has taken a toll on the whole family. As the doctors give him different tests to try to figure out what is wrong with him, I am hopeful and optimistic that things will be okay. Yet, I can’t help but think about the worst-case scenario of his death. In my fearful mind, I am convinced that he will not get better and that our lives will be changed forever. I rationalize this by telling myself that his body is old and tired, and he already had a break eight years ago when he received a kidney transplant. I also remind myself that we have been lucky to have him alive and healthy for these last eight years. Even though my father and I don’t have a special father-daughter bond, his illness and the idea that I could lose him has made me depressed. I wonder what life without him would be like. He is a big part of my family tapestry. In my family, my mother is the one with the most influence, yet I can’t imagine how she would truly function without him. These are my thoughts and fears. But then I stop and remind myself that nothing is certain except this moment. At this moment, my father is still alive. At this moment, he is still with us. Why must I focus on a future that is not here yet? It’s part of human nature to want to get ahead of ourselves to try to protect ourselves from pain.  But, we must not get ahead of ourselves. We must take it a minute, hour, and day at a time. I don’t have a crystal ball that can tell me what will happen in the future. I only have the power to focus on the present moment. When the time comes that I must say goodbye to my father, I will welcome that moment with open arms, but I will not get ahead of myself now. Right now, I am grateful that he is being taken care of by some of the best doctors in the state. In this moment, I am grateful that he is still alive. Here are three tips for not getting ahead of yourself and for staying in the present moment.

You are not your fearful thoughts.
When I go into my head and embrace my fearful thoughts, things don’t get better; they get worse. If you are going through something difficult in your life, get a hold of your fearful thoughts. Understand that these thoughts are not real; they are only in your head. My worst-case scenarios are creations of my imagination. This doesn’t mean that these scenarios couldn’t happen, but at this moment they have not happened. So why should I stress about something that is only in my head? Let go of your fears by trusting that you will know how to handle any difficult situations when, and if, they ever happen.

Avoid worrying about the future.
Plan optimistically for your future and don’t worry about it. It is the job of the fearful mind to try to make you worry about worst-case scenarios. Many times, these worst-case scenarios never come to fruition. I believe that we must always stay in the present, but if you must consider the future only look at it with high hopes and stay positive. The future should never intimidate you. It should only inspire you.

Savor the moment.
To savor the moment is to be at peace with it. Peace is to be content with what is and not desire anything else in the present moment. As I savor my moments when I know my father is still in this world, I can’t wish that I could go back to when he was healthy. In life, there is no going back; there is only going forward. And in life, death is a form of moving forward. I am savoring life by being grateful for my health and the health of my husband and children. I am savoring life, one moment at a time.

Life can be beautiful one moment and ugly the next, so treasure the beautiful moments deeply, and don’t rush to the ugly moments in your thoughts. In this moment, I feel love and peace. For now, I will stay in this moment. Remember it’s okay to be optimistic and excited about your future, but always stay present. Until next time, Believe. Change. Become.
Sending many blessings your way,
Nancy😊



Monday, June 12, 2017

What Voice Guides You?


"There is a voice that doesn't
use words. Listen."
 -Unknown

To balance the roles of mother, wife, and business owner, I need to connect deeply to my soul through listening to my intuition, or what I call the “spirit voice.” I have noticed that if I get busy and neglect this voice, I feel confused, tired, lost, and sad. The spirit voice knows what steps I need to take in my relationships, career, and business. All that is required from me to access this voice is to silence myself so that it may be heard.  As I continue my passion of personal development and inspirational speaking, I am getting more comfortable with my spirit voice. This quiet, subtle voice has whispered to me when something is wrong with an individual or a life choice. The spirit voice, or what some call our intuition, will also guide you in deciding if you want to take a grand leap of leaving a bad relationship, or a bad job. Here are three tips on how you can be guided by your powerful spirit voice. When you allow yourself to be guided by your spirit voice, you will be amazed at how your true path appears and the negative chatter disappears.

Trust your gut.
You have heard, “Trust your gut feeling,” right? Well, it’s that gut feeling I like to call your spirit voice. It’s the voice that tells you to take another road. Your spirit voice will advise you to leave that bad relationship or that bad job. It’s also the feeling that makes you uncomfortable with some people, but you can’t point out why. Trust that feeling; listen to that voice. Your spirit voice knows more than you will ever understand. It has seen your future and understands what your true path is. Trust your spirit voice, because it knows the way!

Meditation results in clarity.
When I meditated this morning, I could silence my negative voice, or what I call my ego voice, easier than some other days. I felt more alert. When I meditate for at least ten minutes a day, I notice that my spirit voice becomes a bit louder—not obnoxious and loud like my ego voice, but a bit louder and clearer. If you already meditate, you understand what I mean. If you don’t meditate, it will take practice to learn, but if you dedicate some time you will eventually get there. There are many resources online about how to meditate. I will offer some tips in future blogs. But for now, try to stay still for ten minutes, clear your mind, and focus on nothing. See what pops up. If negative, fearful thoughts appear, it’s the ego working on your mind. If loving, beautiful thoughts appear, it’s your spirit voice, your intuition. Go there!

Let the right voice guide you.
How do you know which voice is guiding you? As I already mentioned, the ego voice may be louder and obnoxious. The spirit voice may be calmer and subtle. Your reliable voice is the one that is affirming, but not necessarily loud. You feel a sense of calm and that you will be okay—that the universe has your back. On the other hand, the ego voice will remind you of your insecurities and can be cruel and demeaning. The ego voice wants to keep you a prisoner of the known and comfortable.  You probably heard this voice if you considered whether or not to leave a career that no longer fulfilled you. Your ego voice is lying to you when it tells you that you are not worthy of a new or better relationship. Which voice is governing your life choices?

Being intuitive and letting your spirit voice guide you is not always easy. It’s not easy because the spirit voice is not the most rational voice. Being rational is the role of the ego voice. The ego voice limits possibilities by telling you that you are not worthy of a dream or desire. Don’t despair. If you silence your mind and learn to love yourself, the spirit voice will step in to remind you that you are capable and worthy of all your dreams. So, you see, you have two different voices fighting to get your attention. One voice is loud and full of fear, and the other is calm and full of love and possibilities. It is your task to uncover the true voice that will guide you to your destiny. May it be the voice of your spirit ! Until next Monday, Believe. Change. Become.

Sending many blessings and love your way!
Nancy:)

Monday, May 22, 2017

Your Critics Will Never Be in the Ring



“A critic is a man who knows the way
but can’t drive the car.”
-Kenneth Tynan

In my family, we follow many traditions throughout the year. One tradition that we have during the summer is to get together for a barbecue and watch boxing. I am not fond of boxing. I think it is a brutal sport, but I love connecting and catching up with friends and family. Last week we got together for the Canelo Alvarez vs. Julio Cesar Chaves fight at a friend’s house. Usually, I keep myself busy with other things when the fight starts. I find any excuse to leave for a while. I run to the store to get some wine, dessert, or anything else that comes to mind. But this time I did something different. I stayed. Yes, I decided that I would stay and not just watch the fight but observe my family and friends watching the fight. I wanted to discover what all the fuss was about and why we have not evolved from the ancient Roman times. Just like in the Roman colosseum, family and friends yelled, and cursed when the boxer they favored was not meeting their expectations. It appeared to me that they transformed from being spectators to being boxing coaches.  They became the experts and the critics. For the most part, everybody wanted Canelo to win. Everyone yelled and cursed at him when they thought that he was not giving one-hundred-percent. And they all laughed at his opponent and his performance. Then I got it! We all had become harsh critics, even though we would not make it through one round in the ring. This experience made me think about the harsh critics that we encounter as we follow our dreams. People that are not in the ring will tell you how crazy and stupid you are for going after a life goal or passion. Here are three tips for overcoming harsh critics.

There is a reason that your harshest critics are not in the ring.
I have had many harsh critics on the road to my dreams. Just like the critics in your life, the people that are yelling at the boxer couldn’t be in the ring because they don’t have the drive or passion to pursue such a lofty ambition. From the outside of the ring they become experts because being a critic does not require great skills. On the other hand, it takes special talents and abilities to be a boxer. Only the athlete in the ring knows the strategy for when to punch or not to punch that we see in the ring. If we compare life to boxing, we find that our harshest critics think they know what our fight is about. But they have no idea. It’s easy to yell and curse at the boxer for not punching enough, or for avoiding a punch, when we are not in the ring. And it’s easy for others to criticize you. But remember, they are not in the ring. You are.

Only listen to people that have your best interests in mind.
When I think about the boxer, the only one that has the right to be a critic is the boxing coach. Only the coach knows what the boxer is capable of and what the strategy is. Even people that love you may want to discourage you from pursuing your dreams and goals. They believe that they are incapable of acquiring their dreams so they assume you can’t either. This belief exists because of who they are. It has nothing to do with you. People who love you may have the best intentions, yet know who your true coaches are, listen to them with care, but always take the advice of your soul because it knows the true fight you must win.

When all else fails, ignore them.
If you can’t delete your harshest critics from your life, simply ignore them. Don’t give them the power to hold you back. Ignore what they tell you and move on. I ignore those who doubt my dreams and ambitions by incorporating humor. I can laugh doubts away by not taking everything to heart. For example, when one of my harshest critics once told me that the world already had a Latina Oprah named Cristina, I told her that the world never had a Latina Oprah named Nancy Salmeron. I let it roll and laughed it away.

Boxing champions in the world are few, but the arena is filled with thousands of spectators and critics. There is a reason they are in the arena and not in the ring. Remember, you can’t listen to those that don’t know who you are or have lived your journey. Ignore those who doubt your dreams and don't forget that champions of the world are few. Be the champion of your life by not listening to outside critics and staying in the ring long enough to see your dreams come true. Until next time, Believe. Change. Become.

Sending blessings your way,
Nancy😊